


Benzaiten Fire

by Yugen_666



Category: Split (2016)
Genre: Best Friends, Borderline Personality Disorder, Child Neglect, Childhood Trauma, Comfort/Angst, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Eating Disorders, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Girl Power, Love, Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, Multi, Other, Parent-Child Relationship, Past Child Abuse, Self-Harm, Sister-Sister Relationship, Sisters, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2019-07-08 20:52:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15938066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yugen_666/pseuds/Yugen_666
Summary: Yugen is a strong, fierce and talented individual with a long history of abuse, self-injury and being institutionalized. When she finally disconnects herself from her abusive mother, she finds herself settling in Pennsylvania where she instantly connects with a stranger. She soon realizes not only his beast nature but hers as well.





	1. Fat Emo

**Author's Note:**

> Find me at FanFiction.net! If you have any questions or comments please feel free to message me. I do enjoy song recommendations with stories and I love LOVE Pinterest, so feel free to check that out if you like =)

(A backstory)

For as long as Yugen can remember, she had always romanticized death. When she was only 9 years old, she longed for one last caress. A kiss from a broken mirror, perfect for her fragmented soul. She ran a shard across her forearm, reveling in the strength that it gave her when she felt she had none.

When she was 11, the men her mother brought home liked to tell her she was a very pretty little girl. Luckily for her, they never touched her. Unfortunately, her mother noticed the potential of her developing daughter. Yugens mom was a very spiteful and very bitter person and forced her to eat more than she wanted. By the time she was 12, she weighed nearly 200 LBS. The kids at school that she once called friends made fun of her and began to ostracize her. The sensitive little girl that tried so hard to be vibrant and social became withdrawn and isolated. As her sanity waned her temper grew and it was one more thing her mother had to use against her.

One day while waiting in the backseat of her Grandparents car, Yugens mom cleared her throat and leaned over to her. "Next week, we're going to a psychiatrist and you're going to do exactly as I tell you" Yugens mom whispered firmly. "If you're a good girl, after the session we'll go and buy cool stuff!" She said with a bright enthusiastic smile that made Yugen smile in return. Yugen loved that smile, that smile made her feel loved and reassured. "But if you're bad and you disobey me, I'll make you eat a bucket of tuna when we get home." She stated her demands in a soft motherly tone. Yugen let her head fall nodding with somber compliance, thinking this was normal behavior yet aware that something was wrong. Yugen felt as if she were being ripped open as she stared blankly at the passenger seat in front of her. Her insides felt as if they had fallen to her feet, everything from her rib cage down to her toes began to feel hot and tingly as if a fire within her solar plexus engulfed her lower body; creating a security blanket allowing her to go numb.

From that point on, Yugens mom used various antipsychotics and antidepressants to keep her daughter's behavior in check. Her mom also threw her in institutions whenever Yugen cut herself or attempted suicide. Yugen had a hard time focusing in school and staying awake due to the medication. Regardless of how emotionally detached she felt most of the time, she still cried every day. Kids at school bullied her constantly because they thought she was 'retarded and gross.' She felt fat, weak and stupid and she absolutely loathed herself for it so much it enraged her. When Yugen was 14, she developed an eating disorder. She would starve herself for days after mothers punishments and would purge every meal to control her weight. She didn't lose a significant amount of weight but she lost just enough so she didn't feel nearly paralyzed. Yugens grandparents were no help. They told her she was way too privileged to be this upset and that she was just a spoiled child. Her mother's treatment of her was discipline and that she should learn to behave better.

However, despite how weak Yugen seemed she was stronger than what most people gave her credit for. When she turned 18, she vowed she would lose the weight and find a job. She was an adult now and her mom had no say so, therefore she no longer had any excuses. She was determined not to end up like her mother regardless of how much her independence drove a wedge between them. When Yugen was 23, she moved away from her mom and never looked back. Now, at 32 they're still estranged.

[Misfits-Last Caress](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y2MyMqVD0E)   
[Check out pics here!](https://www.pinterest.com/enolarevfore/benzaiten-fire/chapter1/)


	2. A Life Worth Living

Yugen soaks in a claw foot tub sipping champagne. It was her last night house sitting in midtown New York, so she decided to spend the evening relaxing before heading to Penn station at 6 AM. The apartment was small but luxuriously contemporary. The pristine white tile of the bathroom floor allowed the bright red circular rug in the middle of the small space to be the focal point. The walls were bare drawing no attention except for the shelf of various soaps and towels. The sink was small with a creme colored countertop and a sparkling gold faucet and a small oval mirror. From the tub Yugen could see the dark kitchen and living room; besides the bathroom light, only the luminescence from city skyscrapers provided any luster.

'I hate getting up early...' Yugen thought with mild dread, letting out a discontented sigh. She was quite neurotic and hardly slept as it was but she knew that if she continued to ruminate on these thoughts, she would stress herself out and be angry the next day. She took a deep breath and accepted the sleepless night ahead. She looked over at the white lab puppy that she looked after while the owners were out of state. He laid there quietly, the lower half of his small body stretched out onto the dark linoleum of the small hallway. He popped his head up when he noticed her looking at him over the rim of the tub.

“Hi, Remo!” Yugen switches her glass of champagne to her other hand as Remo clumsily walks over. “I’m going to miss you cutie,” she squeaked out.

Remo begins nibbling her fingers wanting to play. She chuckles as she switches her glass back to her previous hand.

“You beast,” she states plainly with a soft smile on her face.

Yugen averts her dark brown eyes to the bathwater as she twirls a small dark lock of her hair around her index finger; a fleeting thought of what to do with her hair came to mind. The bubbles in the water were dissipating and she only had a couple of sips left of her champagne. She decided that it would be best to get out and get ready for bed. She knocked back what was left of her beverage, pulled the stopper from the drain and set the empty glass on the floor near the edge of the tub. She carefully rose from the tub and grabbed the bright red towel from the rack within arm's length to her left. She dried her hair and her torso before stepping onto the round bath mat, careful not to get the spotless tile floor wet. She dried off the rest of her body then walked over to the full-length mirror next to the bathroom door. She scanned her bare form with satisfaction and angst.

Her face is quite pretty; her light olive skin along with her nose ring, labret ring and her 00 gauges gave her an unusual and exotic appearance. Her perfectly toned arms were marred with deep gashes and burns from cigarettes and other various objects, yet she had no qualms about them showing. Her nipple rings complimented her small chest, which was in perfect proportion with her waistline. Her legs and buttocks were strong and thick, providing her with a feeling of stability. Her legs and her torso had only a few traces of faded razorblade kisses. Despite Yugen being rather fit, she never lost her femininity.

Yugen played with her belly button ring as she smiled at the life she made for herself, as well as the person she had become. She felt attractive and confident, a complete 180 from the girl she was a little less than a decade ago. She had extraordinary talent in the arts, she can finish a detailed painting

 

in 5 minutes or less; she plays multiple instruments such as the guitar, piano and violin. She has a powerful singing voice and a knack for putting words together.

Yugen became aware of the narcissism creeping up her chest, making her heartache. She swallowed her pride and her shame and stepped away from the mirror, then proceeded to get ready for bed.

[Nyxx-Diabolical](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_F8h4oDI7I)   
[Check out pics here!](https://www.pinterest.com/enolarevfore/benzaiten-fire/chapter2/)


	3. The Girl with the Bed Head

Yugen finally made it home to Pennsylvania. It was the day after Labor Day and the train ride was chaotic, yet surprisingly uneventful and she was able to doze off. The fall mountainous air was mildly crisp, which left Yugen wishing she had worn a heavier sweater. Needless to say, she was glad to be back in her cozy one bedroom apartment. It was 10:45 and Yugen was kicking herself for scheduling a dog walk at 1 pm.

'Why would I do that to myself?' Yugen thought rhetorically, frustrated because all she wanted to do was nap.

“No time to complain Yugen. You got this!” She clapped her hands together once before she spoke aloud, attempting to motivate herself. “It’s just the one and then you can nap!” She said boisterously as she moseyed towards her bathroom.

Yugen decided to head down to her favorite cafe in an attempt to alleviate her mood. She checked herself in the mirror and grimaced at how haggard she looked. She wore a thin white hoodie with the phrase ‘I have no idea why I’m out of bed,’ black leggings and black and white high top converse. She wore her plain black silicone gauges to keep her ears from shrinking, a sparkling nose stud and a silver circular barbell. Her hair was carelessly thrown up in a messy bun and the bags under her eyes simply matched the outfit.

“Eh, good enough!” She said to her reflection, flipping it off as she sauntered away. She put on her black cropped jacket, threw on her messenger bag and then walked out the door.

It only took about 10 minutes to get to the cafe so Yugen decided to walk, allowing the brisk air to enliven her. She opened the door to the cafe and the smell of coffee filled her nostrils, making her smile in delight. The cafe was richly colored with dark purple, lavender and gray furniture and decor. There were various pieces from different local artists; a birdcage upcycled into a hanging light fixture, different style paintings, pottery and glassware. Plush chairs came in colors of purple, lavender and gray and they were well complimented with small cherry wood tables. She admired the hard work the couple had put into the place and how much it had grown in the past couple of years.

“Hey, sunshine!” A familiar perky blonde barista named Michelle chirped from behind the counter. “How was New York?”

“Oh, it’s...New York! It’s always busy, it’s really expensive, but I was able to hang out in a really nice apartment with a really cute dog aaaannnd…drink all the guys really expensive booze.” Michelle laughed wholeheartedly as she slapped the counter and Yugen smiles at her genuine amusement.

“Well, you look hungover. Are you okay?” Michelle asked still smiling.

“Yeah I had to get up really early, so basically I haven’t slept,” Yugen answered giving a tight smile. “And then I decided to torture myself even further by booking a dog walk at 1 pm.”

“Jesus, you just won’t give yourself a break will you?” Michelle's asks jokingly as someone walks into the cafe.

“Well, I do thrive on chaos so I’m both delighted and in agony all at the same time!” Yugen states brightly with a big smile on her face as Michelle shakes her head laughing. The man next to her chuckles at the banter before chiming in.

“Now that’s pretty clever!” The stranger spoke as he gestured toward Yugen with his index finger, making her smile and blush.

Yugen instantly felt attracted to the strange man. He was good-looking, stylish and had a friendly demeanor. He wore a pair of black tennis shoes with a pair of black skinny jeans, a light blue v neck which complimented his baby blue eyes, a gray beanie and a black hooded coat. His shirt was made of thin cotton fabric so one could see how well built he was.

“Yeah, you have to watch this one she tends to do that!” Michelle retorts to the stranger. Barry looked Yugen up and down briefly before Michelle continued, “So the usual with a double shot of espresso then?”

“Yes, please! And make it a large.” Yugen replies as she hands Michelle her card.

Michelle fleetingly glances at the man next to Yugen then back at her. “Oh! I almost forgot to mention...” She cocks her head in his direction as an indication as she continues, “someone bought your painting.” She finishes in a sing-song tone. The friendly barista smiles and winks suggestively before saying to the man, “you walked in at the right moment sir! You’re welcome to pay the artist directly.” Michelle walks off to make Yugens overly caffeinated beverage.

The stranger chortles at Michelle’s peppy professionalism then extends his hand to Yugen. “Hi, I’m Barry!” He says with a friendly smile.

“I’m Yugen it’s nice to meet you.” She says shaking his hand smiling warmly at him.

Barry had been checking Yugen out since he entered the cafe. She looked very casual and a bit sloppy, tired even; which led Barry to believe that she had worn that white top on purpose. Aside from her sharp wit and bold sense of humor, Barry thought she was beautifully unique. It was an added bonus that she was the artist of the painting that the others screamed at him to buy. Regardless of how pricey it was, Barry felt that fate demanded they owned this painting and that he get to know this strange girl as well.

“So, I’m actually happy I ran into you cause uh...I normally don’t buy paintings from coffee shops but yours stood out to me.” Barry spoke with an open posture that radiated extroversion and effeminacy. His mannerisms and hand gestures drew you into the conversation. He was not intimidating, but he insisted that he be heard. “I would love to talk more about it with you if that’s okay?” Barry inquired, barely containing his anxiety. He wasn’t used to asking women out and he wasn’t sure how some of the others would feel about it.

Yugen smiled and blushed at his question, secretly hoping he wasn’t gay. “Of course! We can do the exchange, get our coffees and have a chat. Sound good?” She asked as she beamed at Barry.

“Sounds great.” Barry grinned down at the cute girl with the bed head in utter adoration. His heart fluttered at how easy it was to make her blush and smile.

“Large Cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso!” Michelle announced from behind the counter.

Yugen turned to grab her beverage and Barry took a quick peek at her backside, before Yugen turned around and added, “I’ll grab us a seat.”

“Sure,” Barry stated as he watched Yugen walk to the opposite wall and grab the painting.

Michelle stood behind the counter with an eyebrow cocked and her arms crossed before clearing her throat. Barry averted his attention to the barista before going red in the face.

“What can I get you lover boy?” Michelle smirked teasingly at Barry.

Barry chortles awkwardly at Michelle and replies, “uh large cappuccino please.”

“Hm, another cappuccino...sounds like a perfect match,” Michelle comments without looking up from her screen. “$5.95,” she says.

“Are you always this direct?” Barry questions curiously as he pulls out a $10 bill and hands it to her.

“I have 3 teenage boys and an iron-willed husband so, yes!” Michelle says with enthusiasm as she pulls out Barry’s change. She walks away suddenly, leaving Barry aghast.

'I don’t like her.' One of the others commented. Barry ignored it, thankful that his head was a bit quieter for a change.

Yugen watched Barry grab his beverage then looked away as he began to walk over. She shifted nervously in her plush gray chair as she holds the painting in her lap. 'God, he’s cute!' Yugen thought as she carefully looked him up and down, making sure he didn’t notice as he set his beverage down and pulled out a wad of cash from his back pocket.

“$350 right?” He asks as he counts out the money.

“Correct,” Yugen responds plainly as she studied the painting that took her a little less than 5 minutes to do. It was a painting of a fashionable, retro woman with a barcode over her mouth and across her chest it said, ‘Property of Society.’

Barry and Yugen made the exchange then Yugen checked her phone. 11:38…

“Do you have someplace to be?” Barry wondered with an eyebrow raised.

Yugen snapped from her thoughts and kicked herself for being rude. “Barry, I’m so sorry! I should’ve told you sooner but I’m a dog walker and I stupidly scheduled one for 1 pm even though I just got back from New York around 10:40 and I’ve gotten literally NO SLEEP!” Yugen rambled anxiously as Barry sat cross-legged, clutching the painting across his lap as he holds his cappuccino with his other hand.

'Ask her out! Maybe she’ll let you walk the puppy with her!'  
'Too soon Hedwig…'

Barry ignored the chatter of the male and female voices and said, “that’s fine, what time do you need to head out?”

“It’s just near the square so maybe...12:30?” Yugen responds.

“I’m okay with that as long as I get your number afterwards,” Barry stated bluntly as he took a sip from his cappuccino.

“You barely know me!” Yugen laughed lightly, amused by his directness as she leans forward and rests her arms on the table.

Barry mimics her posture and without wasting time asks, “What’s your full name?”

“Yugen McAvoy.” She replies

“Yugen McAvoy...that sounds familiar.” Barry looks at the cherry wood table in deep thought as he rubs his chin with his thumb and his index finger.

Yugen thought of her next words carefully in order not to appear too full of herself. “I’m sort of known in Pennsylvania and New York...Philadelphia mostly! I play at weddings and venues, occasionally I play at the museum of art on Fridays, I’ve played at the Philadelphia zoo...”

“See, that’s where I know you from! I work at the Philadelphia Zoo. You played at October Fest a couple of years in a row. Last year you wore a uh...a cute little black tutu with glittery fairy wings.” Barry cut Yugen off with his sudden realization, smirking with fond remembrance.

“Yes, I did! I dressed up as a Gothic fairy and played for a bunch of drunks.” Barry and Yugen laugh in unison and talk for a good 20 minutes about Yugens various hobbies and side gigs.

Barry finally asks, “so, what inspired you to paint this?”

“Well I used to weight A LOT and for a while, I thought the only way to be valuable was to look valuable. Then one day, I guess I woke up and realized that I was allowing society to determine my worth.” Yugen explained.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how much did you used to weigh?” Barry carefully inquired before he took a sip of his cappuccino.

“Nearly 300 pounds!” Yugen replied.

“Holy shit, are you serious?!” Barry exclaimed nearly spitting out his drink.

Yugen laughed at his reaction to the revelation. “I know it’s so bad.” She says before drinking the last bit of her cappuccino.

“No baby girl! You should be proud of yourself you look amazing!” He says noticing her insecurity.

Yugen smiles, looking down and then blushing. She looks back at Barry and says, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Barry retorts with endearment.

Yugen cleared her throat and looked at the time on her phone. “Oh! It’s 12:32, I better get going!”

[Aesthetic Perfection-Inhuman](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnAn5LhJgUA)   
[Check out pics here!](https://www.pinterest.com/enolarevfore/benzaiten-fire/chapter3/)


	4. First Person Plural

Barry and Yugen exchanged numbers before standing from their chairs. They stood outside to say their goodbyes before heading in opposite directions.

"So I'll...see you again soon?"

"Of course!" Yugen replies, flashing Barry a welcoming smile. "Text me."

"Definitely," Barry says as he smiles back.

 

 

Barry hung the painting in the living room of the handcrafted home. He and the others certainly lucked out in getting this job at the Philadelphia Zoo, not only was the pay decent but it also provided them their own space as well. He put it on the opposite wall from the doorway, that way the others could see it when they entered the room. He stood there for a moment gazing at it; mesmerized that it was even a painting at all. It was so detailed, so realistic; it was as if it had been digitally printed. However, when he touched it, he could feel brushstrokes upon the stretched canvas. Barry felt delighted to have hit it off with an extraordinarily talented and interesting girl. She mentioned she had been house sitting in New York during Labor Day, then she facetiously articulated that she spent the majority of that time, "drinking and writing while stumbling after a 3-month-old Labrador."

Barry inwardly laughed as he looked down from the painting, shaking his head as he thought back on the quip. He sat down on the couch and propped his feet on the coffee table, crossing his ankles. Barry felt a swarm of anxiety invade his chest and his stomach. He was concerned about how his disorder would affect his ability, or better yet THEIR ability to establish connections outside of Kevin's body. He also thought about Kevin...would Yugen be good for him? For us? It was wrong of us to take his life from him but will he ever wake up?! Barry inhaled deeply and then exhaled sharply, attempting to calm his frustration. He looked at his phone on the table and decided to email Dr. Fletcher. He picked up his phone and saw the time, then decided against it.

"Jade, it's time for your insulin," Barry stated aloud. Shudder...switch…gone!

Barry gave Jade the light, immediately he was bombarded with questions and random chatter.

"So, what's she like?"

"Is she pretty?"

"What's her name?"

Barry stood in front of his chair and put up his hands to quiet everyone down. "One question at a time you guys!"

The room systematically fell silent then Barry finally continued, "Her name is Yugen McAvoy; she's an artist, musician, writer...and she works with animals. She's 32, funny, gorgeous…

"Have you told her about us?" Dennis cut Barry off as he sat in his chair, arms crossed defensively over his chest. Patricia stood behind him with her hands clasped in front of her, listening intently.

 _Those two are up to something,_ Barry thought.

"That'll have to come later," Barry replied as he sat in his chair.

"She's an accomplished 32-year-old woman Dennis, not some naive school girl," Luke's southern drawl chimed in from across the room.

Although the comment was cruel and uncalled for, Barry knew he was right. Dennis was banned from the light for a reason, half being that he preferred the company of young girls. Anyone who knew him never would've guessed that he would have any interest in a woman like Yugen. Barry felt the worst part about it was, Dennis knew he was wrong and yet, he still couldn't contain himself. The only thing Barry respected about the man was that he was strong enough to admit his faults.

Barry glanced around the dark, dilapidated building as everyone speculated among themselves. There was plaster and rubble all over the cracked concrete floor, the walls were molded and eroding, the entire room was a tangible representation of Kevin's psyche; corroded and unstable. One could travel outside this decrepit building, beyond it was an exact replication of the world outside; only it was always dark and lightly misted with fog. The only things that seemed to be intact within these ruins were the large, brown leather chairs and the large window covered with thick, black curtains. If Barry or the others wanted, they could peer outside the window to see what was going on in the light. Unfortunately, it was very difficult to see due to the thick fog, which effectively distorted the outside world. Ultimately, that is what Kevin wanted. The only thing any of them could rely on were fragments of images and voices. Barry looked at the light that illuminated the center of the room, past it in the far corner lay a wicker rocking crib containing a baby Kevin, resting in a state in which peace was only ever known.

 

 

Jade stared at the painting that Barry had bought in awe. "Cool," she whispered to herself as she grazed her fingertips over the canvas. She grabbed the cell phone off the table, then made her way to the office to take her insulin. She decided to make her video diary as Dr. Fletcher suggested, in an effort to make a statement.

"All the doctors, besides Dr. Fletcher say that we're the same person, just personalities. Huh? How do you explain that I'm the only one who needs these, you mother fuckers?!" Jade spat in bitter desperation as she held the needle to the camera. She longed to be heard just like everyone else, but being in the body of a nearly middle-aged man made it no easy task.

A text message popped up on the cell phone, and Jade stopped the video. She smiled jovially as she read the message.

' _Hey I hope its not weird that I'm messaging you this soon lol! I'm playing at the underground theater and I have a couple of tickets. You can either give one to a friend or I'll give the other away. So what do you say?'_

Jade sat back in the chair as she swivels it back and forth, and giggles at the message. She thought it was awkward and cute; boy, was she in for a rude awakening! Jade hoped that Barry had some understanding of what he was getting them into, despite his social finesse, romantic relationships were not a muscle any of them were used to flexing. Jade took a deep breath and cast her worries aside, set the phone on the desk and gave the light back to Barry.

 

 

Yugen laid on her soft, gray couch wrapped up in her pink fluffy blanket. Throw pillows were stacked on the large ottoman that came with the couch, an apple core and an empty coffee mug sat carelessly on the glass table. The only light that came in the apartment came from the flat screen TV, mounted on the mantle of the fireplace. Yugen meant to doze off, binge-watching Bojack Horseman on Netflix but ended up on her phone instead. She was texting a promoter, who went by the name of Christina Lundy, about booking a spot at the Underground Arts Theater.

_'Hey Christina! I noticed on fb that you're looking for local musicians for the 18th. Would you happen to consider me?'_

_'Yes! In fact I'm happy you contacted me. I've had a string of musicians that didn't follow thru or they picked fights with some of the patrons. LOL! We're losing money! If you perform that night, I'll give you a couple of tickets to invite whoever you want.'_

Christina really liked Yugen, she's reliable and knows how to put on a good show. Not to mention, of course, she's well known in Philadelphia; so she's guaranteed to bring in some money.

_'Totally! I'll drop by tomorrow mid afternoon to pick them up. Cool?'_

_'Sounds good I'll see you tomorrow.'_

When the conversation ended, Yugen immediately thought of Barry, wondering if she should invite him. She didn't want to push things too quickly like she had in the past, but she didn't really have any close friends. Yugen had always spent the majority of her time alone, even as a child. She became so numb with loneliness, she never realized how starved for affection she was until she became romantically involved. Yugen had many reasons to be guarded, but Barry was different.

 _Then again, that's what you thought about all the others._ Yugen thought cynically to herself.

"What the hell!" Yugen said aloud, pushing away her self-doubt and insecurities. She would play things by ear and see how they go, remembering what her therapist back in Texas told her a long time ago about setting boundaries.

 

 

"Check the phone!" Jade said once Barry was back in the light. Barry looked down at the pink sweater and tugged at it with his thumb and index finger. He swiveled the chair around, only to notice his clothes discarded chaotically in random spots on the floor. "Thanks, Jade," his tone conveying ironic detachment. He looked at the message on the screen, and a faint smile came across his lips.

 _'Oh yeah, she definitely interested.'_ He thought. However, Barry didn't want to wait two weeks to see her again.

"You should ask her out this weekend, and don't forget to email Dr. Fletcher!" Jades voice echoed from inside Barry's head, sensing his conflicting emotions.

Despite being individuals, they were all profoundly the same. They were conceived from pain when one felt intensely, everyone felt intensely. Depending on who is the strongest and most capable at the time, will take the light and deal with the situation accordingly. Most of them worked together in unison to create a functional system, one which gave Kevin the stability he needed.

"Good idea!" Barry replied aloud.

 _'I'll see what I have going on then. In the meantime would you like to do something this weekend?'_ Barry texted back.

 _'Yeah what do you have in mind?'_ Yugen responded almost immediately.

Barry thought about it for a moment before looking down at Jade's attire, realizing he hadn't yet changed. He decided to think about it while getting dressed into his own clothes.

[Aesthetic Perfection-Ebb and Flow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cnk0ITC_Qm8)

[Check out pics here!](https://www.pinterest.com/enolarevfore/benzaiten-fire/chapter4/)


	5. I think I'm happy

Barry made his way up the old, spiral staircase to Dr. Fletcher's office. He took a deep breath, allowing his heart to slow before he knocked on the door. He had been anxious to talk to Dr. Fletcher since yesterday, after meeting Yugen. Barry looked down at the floor and the corner of his mouth twitched, feeling a twinge of self-pity for having to ask a psychologist for relationship advice. Those feelings were quickly put to rest when Dr. Fletcher answered the door.

"Barry, it's good to see you again!" Dr. Fletcher welcomed him with a warm, grandmotherly smile.

"You too, Doctor." Barry smiled back, trying his best to stifle his anxiousness, which Dr. Fletcher noticed immediately.

"Come on in," she gestured kindly.

"So, what's on your mind? And please, start from the beginning." Dr. Fletcher inquired as she clasped her hands in her lap.

"Um well...Friday after work I decided to check out this place called Java Art Cafe, it's a cozy fairly new coffee shop with local art all over the place!" Barry vivaciously explains, elation quite evident in his voice. "And uh...well there was this piece that stood out to some of us," Barry finished.

"And what was this work of art composed of?" Dr. Fletcher curiously interjected.

"It was of a woman, a model I think. She had a barcode over her mouth and under it said Property of Society." Barry wiggled his eyebrows and gave Dr. Fletcher a tight smile, containing his passion for an artistically insightful woman.

"Hm...intriguing." Dr. Fletcher said plainly before she took in a small breath, cocked her head towards the ceiling in thought and continued, "a visual and tangible portrayal of someone bought and exploited...you should let me see it sometime." Dr. Fletcher stated with a small smile.

"I will," Barry said assuredly.

"You mentioned a girl in your email?" Dr. Fletcher questioned.

"Yeah, um it's actually a funny story! I asked the Barista to hang on to the painting for me and she said I had a week before she put it back on display, so that Tuesday I went back and the artist was there..." Barry thoughtfully considered his next words before he continued, "she uh, she had a way about her and...immediately I felt drawn to her."

Dr. Fletcher listened intently as Barry talked about his romantic interest. She felt delighted for Barry and proud that he's attempting to open up to someone other than her, but also felt genuine maternal concern for how this may affect him and the others.

"She sent me a text yesterday, inviting me to a show that she's playing at next week, but I didn't want to wait that long." Dr. Fletcher chuckled, amused by Barry's eagerness. "So I invited her to go out this weekend, but I wanted to talk to you first so I told her I would get back with her tonight."

There was a short pause in the conversation before Dr. Fletcher knowingly added, "There's more..."

"So...I'm uh, I'm worried about how this relationship will work, or even if it could work being as we are," Barry finished his revelation for the emergency meeting.

"I understand your concern, Barry. This is new for you, for all of you. All of us will work together on this, step by step." Dr. Fletcher holds up her index finger pointedly, "a bit of advice I can give you to take home today...take her someplace where you two can talk and have dinner. Do what you're good at, let the conversation flow naturally!" Dr. Fletcher smiled as she said the last sentence, it was the main reason she liked Barry after all. "After the date, email me and we'll schedule another appointment. Okay?" Dr. Fletcher finished.

"Sounds good," Barry replied as he nodded his head in understanding.

They both stood from their seats, as Dr. Fletcher walked Barry to the door she adds in, "If you it's any consolation to you, I'd say it's a very good sign that she texted you first!"

Barry looks down blushing then looks at Dr. Fletcher with a smile and retorts, "I know I'm not stupid!"

Barry and Dr. Fletcher stand in the doorway laughing together before Barry skips downs the steps, feeling much lighter than he did previously.

Yugen sat at her white wooden ladder desk, writing an article for the Philadelphia Weekly. When she finished, she saved the document to go back and edit later. She wrote on a sticky note Remember Article, knowing she had a spacey memory.

Yugen checked the time on her phone, 8:45…

She stood from the hard white desk chair, yawning as she lifted her arms in the air, relishing the full body stretch. Her pink floral skull pajamas hung low at her hips and her silky light pink cami rode up, allowing her iridescent black cat belly ring to poke out. Yugen sighed loudly then walked over to the couch, opening up the gray ottoman where she kept her stash. She had a busy day of dog walks, drop-in visits, running errands, and spent the last hour in a half writing—she finally had an opportunity to sit back and be mindless. Yugen turned on the TV, then rolled a fat joint. Once the spit dried, she inhaled the sweet indica, then exhaled as she melted into the couch. Yugen didn't smoke pot often, but after an overwhelming day or a long busy week—she just wanted to think and feel nothing.

For most of the day, Yugen had a hard time focusing. It was getting late and she still hadn't heard from Barry, she felt worried that she had been too awkward and weird when she messaged him. Although Yugen was very critical of herself, it didn't stop her from doing it. Then after torturing herself, she tortures herself even further by beating herself up—just like her mother did. It was a vicious cycle that Yugen had to try hard to distract herself from, which is part of why she had such a diversity of talents. Her mom and her grandparents had a fondness, as well as an exceptional talent for the arts. Anything from writing to music they encouraged—which was strange because her granddad owned a chain of Tex-Mex restaurants, her grandma was a real estate agent, and her mom was a simple secretary.

Yugens phone went off and she snapped out of her daze—averting her eyes from the TV to the device on the table. She peeled herself from the couch and picked up her phone, her eyes went wide when she saw Barry's name on the screen.

"Whoa...he's calling me like...right now..." Yugen thought to herself, she took a deep breath in an attempt to focus, then hesitantly answered the phone.

"Hey, Barry, what's up?"

"I'm pretty good, baby girl. How are you?"

"I'm pretty good...just chillin. Have you decided on this weekend?" Yugen cut to the chase, ending the small talk. She did not like being stoned and social.

"Yes, I have! Have you ever heard of a restaurant called Bistro Romano?" Barry replied confidently.

"Yeah, I've never been though. I hear the atmosphere is really nice and the foods really good..."

"It is! The pasta is to die for! How does Saturday sound?" Barry breaks in, keenness evident in his tone.

Yugen smiled at this, "Saturday sounds great! What time?"

"7 pm?"

"Perfect, I'll meet you there."

"Alright love, take care."

"You too, nighty night." Yugen cooed.

Yugen hung up and sat back on the couch, feeling excited for the weekend like a giddy, teenage girl.

The first thing Barry did when he got back in the light was make a PB&J sandwich, it had been hours since he had anything to eat, and he promised BT and Samuel could have the light after the meeting with Dr. Fletcher. Barry wasn't entirely sure what they did in the light—but he knew it involved working out, beer, and video diaries.

While he ate his sandwich, he contemplated whether he should call or text Yugen. He thought about her voice, her sense of humor, her laugh, her smile—he really loved her smile. Once Barry finished his food, he decided to call her. Yugen sounded a bit hazy and out of character, but he let it slide and assumed her to be more talkative in person.

Barry felt animated when he hung up the phone, but it didn't take long for anxiety to kick in.

'What if she doesn't show up?'

'What if she doesn't like us?'

'What if she's trying to trick us?'

Barry pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed the sides of his temples, as the chatter from the others became more indistinct.

"Everyone calm down! We're just going to have to find out all of this on Saturday!" Barry sighed with frustration, he picked up his plate and took it to the sink to wash it, uncertain about how long he could go without telling Yugen about the others.

[Skrillex-Scary monsters and nice sprites](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSeNSzJ2-Jw)   
[Check out pics here!](https://www.pinterest.com/enolarevfore/benzaiten-fire/chapter5/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think? Should I have Barry and Yugen reveal their dirty little secrets in the next chapter? Let me know what you think!


	6. Chemical Burns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Yugen on their date! WHOO HOOO!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished editing this chapter! I really hope you guys enjoy this one! Feel free to leave kudos and let me know what you think. No pressure! :-)
> 
> Prepare yourselves! This is a lengthy one!

Yugen opened the front door, entering the dark apartment—dark tapestry depicting the lovers tarot hung over the large window, effectively blocking out the sun. Yugen left the door open so she could see well enough to turn on the lights—she walked over to her couch, leaning over it to turn on the trendy black and white lamps behind it. She set the keys on the glass table, then closed the front door. Yugens long pony tail whipped around with her brisk movement, splashing droplets of sweat randomly on the light gray carpet. Her black, cropped pullover and her purple, x-ray skeleton leggings were drenched; sending chills over her body. Yugen spent the last hour in a half jogging with a two year old Boxer—she felt gross, hungry, and kind of antsy. She kicked off her black and white Nikes between the front door and the large window, then walked towards her kitchen. Her ladder desk sat against the wall, next to the kitchen island; piles of books, CD’s, and crinkled up wads of paper scattered the floor.

The brass light fixtures above the island hung in dark still silence, the sun cast a glow through the window behind the kitchen sink. A couple of pentagrams made of willow and oak hung from fake, gold plated light fixtures; bundles of herbs drooped from the five pointed star, making reedy shadows dance upon the granite counter tops and white linoleum floor. Yugen threw her socks on the floor, next to the laundry basket full of clothes—specifically set at the entry way of the small laundry room as a reminder. She opened up one of the slate colored cabinets and pulled out a glass, filling it up from her stainless steel fridge. She opened it up, pulling out a pre made salad. She sat at one of the wooden bar stools, took off her arm band, and pulled out her phone to check the time.

4:02…

Upon noticing she only had 3 hours to get ready, she breathed deeply, calming her anxiety; then shoved a large forkful of romaine and spinach into her mouth.

 

It was after 5, and to Barry’s excitement, the zoo was closing. He had been in an exceptionally good mood, and the other employees took notice, probing him for information. He expressed to them that he had a date, but didn’t want to divulge too much information in case it didn’t follow through.

“Have fun on your date, Kevin!” One of his coworkers yelled to him, Barry waved as he walked the pathway towards his dark, underground dwelling—he pulled out a set of keys and unlocked the door.

He ran down the steps, briskly walked down the hallway and through the locker room, finally making it to his isolated abode. He immediately went to the bathroom and turned on the shower—he pulled off his boots, then slipped out of his beige work suit, leaving him in his blue boxer briefs; the cotton spandex fabric complimented his firm, masculine contours.

Barry felt light and his chest felt warm, he smiled as he thought of Yugen; his loins fluttered and he became erect with excitement. Barry stepped in the shower, anticipating the evening ahead. He let out a contented sign as he let the warm water run over him—he felt pieces of him scatter as flashes of Yugen invaded his mind, he splashed his face with water, then rubbed his neck and muscular shoulders. Barry felt rather lucky to be in Kevin’s body, even at 37, he was still a very good looking man. Barry’s right hand rested against the wall, his left hand made his way down his pelvis. Water cascaded down his back as he gently stroked his member, caressing the tip with his thumb. He thought of Yugens face, her beautiful lips, and her exotic features. He imagined her beautiful mouth wrapped around him, stroking her soft hair as he looked down in to her beautiful brown eyes. His belly felt warm, his breathing became more rapid and his strokes more fervent, his breath hitched and he let out a groan as he finally climaxed.

 

It was after 5 and Yugen stood in front of her large closet naked, contemplating what to wear. She rubbed the welts on her bicep, deciding it would be best to wait to show Barry her scars. Yugen knew she was confident and she felt comfortable in her own skin, however, sometimes her scars drew unwanted attention. Recently, an old man approached her while she was walking a couple of Yorkie's, he asked to pray over her with the hope that God will cure her satanic blood lust. Yugen, of course, bursts at the seams with laughter as she walked away, but that wasn’t the kind of interplay she wanted with Barry tonight.

Yugen reached in her closet and pulled out a classy, black dress. It was lacy, skin tight, and modestly cut—it was sexy without being too revealing. She placed the dress on her unmade bed—her silk crème colored sheets still ruffled from this morning, a slate colored quilt hung halfway off the bed, and her off white comforter with tassels hung gracefully from their stitching. A light gray blanket with sequins sparkled like the string lights that hung from sheer, black and white tapestry. Yugen placed her pumps at the foot of the bed, then walked over to her vanity. It was a simple black desk with a gothic style mirror hanging above it—a white, pink, and purple taper candle towered in ruby red candle holders and a withered white rose lay in front of them. A white and gold statue of Aphrodite sat to the right, along with rose quartz varying in size.

Yugen sat in her black chair, then carefully applied a moderate amount of black eyeliner. She finished her make up with mascara and a little bit of blush, then applied sheer pink lipstick. She already had in her diamond labret stud, so she put in her diamond nose stud, adding a fair amount of facial bling. Yugen reached over to a book shelf made of wood and tree branches—she grabbed a hair dryer out of one of the wicker baskets, then proceeded to do her hair. It took about 20 minutes to put her hair in to a braided faux hawk, an off beat addition to what Yugen felt was an already conservative outfit; she then slipped in her dress and put on her shoes. Next to her tree branch bookshelf was an all black dresser—on top of it sat a pink and black upside down pentagram shelf with various hello kitty trinkets, horror memorabilia, and a cat candle in the center. On the dresser sat a couple of white candles, random pieces of jewelry, and a pink vase with a couple of wilted roses inside. Next to a tiny, glass skull jar sat an onyx black heart necklace and her black rose plugs with a dangling skull and rhinestone. She sat back down at her vanity then put on her jewelry; her gauges gave her outfit a bit of gothic glam, her necklace laid precisely just under her collar bone—the delicate simplicity of her necklace balanced out some of the showiness. Yugen walked over to her closet and slid the doors shut, revealing an attached mirror. Strangely enough, most of the room was made of mirror, but it stirred up an extreme amount of paranoia; so much that Yugen couldn’t tolerate sleeping in the room—which is why she bought the tapestry. She looked herself over before grabbing her spiked clutch, feeling satisfied with her appearance, yet anxious for the date.

 

Barry stood patiently at the entrance, leaning on the black railing; he had gotten to the restaurant a bit early to ensure he met up with Yugen when she got there. A brown camper van slowly rolled by, completely out of place. He stared at it skeptically, before it was parked in front of the restaurant. Barry felt a pull in his chest—a familiar indicator that some, if not all of the others were paying close attention. He noticed Yugen emerge and his jaw dropped, despite the murmuring in his head and the captivating woman walking towards him, he still reacted with social poise.

“Wowza!” His mouth was slightly agape, Barry was almost speechless.

Yugen laughed at him, “hey, Barry!” She stated happily as she hugged him, which Barry greedily accepted. “How are you?” Yugen breathed into his neck, sending chills down his spine.

“Mmm...I’m doing fantastic, love.” Barry breathed in Yugens scent—she smelled like coffee and cookies, sugary and sweet. Barry felt as if a bomb dropped in his gut, sending sparks flying in to his chest.

Barry felt Yugens arms break from around his neck, he unwrapped his arms from around her waist and rested his hands on her hips; he rubbed his thumbs on her hip bones as he got a closer look at her. She had shapely legs, toned meaty hips and thighs, she appeared to have some muscle definition underneath her lace sleeves, her chest was a bit small—but Barry was an ass man anyway.

Yugen rested her palms on Barry’s chest as she looked him over—he wore dark shoes and dark jeans, his shirt was gray with thin black stripes across his chest, his hoodie was drapey and asymmetrical, and he wore what Yugen assumed to be his signature gray hat. He was definitely the hottest guy Yugen had ever been with!

During the embrace, the pressure had been building. When they finally locked eyes, a magnetic force drew them together, nearly resulting in a kiss. Yugen whispered against Barry’s lips, successfully breaking the sexual tension, “Are you ready to go in?”

“Yeah, yeah lets go in,” Barry shook his head, ripping himself out of his trance.

Upon entering the restaurant, Yugen and Barry were greeted by a short, lanky man in his early 20’s. He seated them at a dimly lit booth, “Your waiter will be with you in just a moment.” The host reassured before walking away.

“So, that brown van you drove here in, do you live in that?” Yugen giggled at Barry’s assumption.

“No, I travel a lot and I occasionally like to go camping,” Yugen smiled at Barry as he nod his head in understanding.

A plump, pale red headed waitress approaches them and introduces herself as Elizabeth, before asking about their drinks.

“Are you a fan of red wine?” Barry observed Yugens face, contemplating her nationality. Is she asian? Latino?

“Yes, of course!”

“Well, then I would suggest the Pinot Noir. Are you okay with that?” Barry considerately inquired, saving his curiosity for another date.

“Yeah, lets go for it!” Yugen exclaimed enthusiastically, making Barry and the waitress chuckle.

“So, what do you do at the zoo?” Yugen opens up the menu, glancing at the dinner section.

Barry noticed from the last time he saw Yugen that she was a bit absent-minded, in a way that probably made her seem rude to some. He didn’t mind the quirk of hers, especially because of his own—however, it still threw him off. “I’m a maintenance manager, basically I’m the main fix it guy and I assign work to other fix it guys.”

Yugen had her eyes fixated on Barry as he spoke—one hand rested on the menu, the other hand rested underneath her chin. “Oh yeah...” Yugen smirked flirtatiously then changed the position of her hands, interlacing them under her chin, “so how do you like being the bossy fix it guy?” Yugen questions light heartedly, flashing her pearly whites at Barry making him blush and titter.

“That’s cute, Yugen!” They both laughed vivaciously as the waitress walked over with bread and wine.

After the waitress poured the wine, she asked if they were ready to order. Barry sat back in the booth displaying his usual effeminate presentation—his legs were crossed as one hand rested on the table, the other hand rested on his knee. He smiled up at the waitress, “we’ll need a couple of more minutes, miss.”

“Sure,” the waitress strode off, slightly irritated.

“Well uh...I do like being the boss, mostly because I get annoyed very quickly when taking orders,” Yugen chortles at Barry, “but it pays pretty decently and provides us a place to stay.” Barry hoped that Yugen didn’t notice that he referred to himself as a plurality.

Yugen furrowed her brows and cocked her head to the side, she was confused and curious about Barry’s slip up. However, she had a feeling that it was sensitive information best saved for another time. “So, does your job provide you an apartment?”

Barry smiles nervously, “not exactly, when they promoted me to management they said I could have the maintenance barracks, so I fixed it up and made it my own.”

“Oh, so your that handy of a man! That’s pretty cool!” Yugen beams coquettishly as Barry smiles and shrugs a shoulder, trying not to blush. “And you live there rent free?”

“Yes, I do!” Barry tried his best to appear confident and relaxed when discussing his unorthodox living space.

“Sweet...so what do you do in your spare time?” Yugen clasped her hands on the table, leaning a bit closer.

Barry did the same—with their middle fingers barely touching, the small gesture felt as if high voltage had shot through them, igniting an electrical flame; one in which both of them were willing to be consumed by.

“I have a lot of different interests, but I really enjoy drawing—my main passion is designing and making women’s clothing.”

“Hmmm...” Yugen taps her chin with her index finger. “Why women’s clothing?”

“I...appreciate the female form,” Barry was authentic and confident, without trying to be smooth. “I think women's bodies are works of art, and with the right fabric and the right cut you guys are...even more tantalizing.” Barry stared intently at Yugen, making her cheeks flush and her heart race. He grabbed one of her loosely clasped hands, “so Yugen, would you consider yourself a leader or a follower?”

Yugen thought about it for a couple of seconds, trying to play it cool. “Um...neither! I’m actually the type that goes to my own little dark corner and rocks back and forth...picking the paint off the walls.” Yugen makes a scratching motion with her index finger, then smiled exuberantly at Barry, puzzling him and amusing him at the same time.

“You kill me, girl!” Barry kisses Yugens fingers.

‘Okay, so she’s a little crazy, this is good!’ A comment obviously from Jade.

Barry smirks at Yugen, “we should look at our menus before the waitress comes back.” Barry let go of Yugens hand and opened up his menu, “she might have the cooks spit in our food for taking too long.”

Yugen giggled, “fair enough!” A smile lingered on her pretty face as she looked at the menu.

“And don’t worry about the prices. I got this one.”

Yugen looked at him wide eyed, “are you sure? They’re pretty pricey!”

“Of course, doll! I don’t pay any rent, remember?” Barry winked and blew a kiss at Yugen, which made her look down at her menu and blush.

“Okay Barry, I’m going to be completely forward, I’m not putting out. I am not a hungry prostitute!” Yugen tried to be witty as she set clear boundaries.

Barry raised his eyebrows and scoffed, “baby, if you were a prostitute, I would not bring you here!”

Yugen busted out laughing as Barry chuckled along with her. “Good point!”

“Yeah, don’t give me that sass, honey!” Barry was playful in his command, compelling Yugen to continue with the kittenish banter.

“Just for that, I’m ordering the most expensive thing on the menu!”

“Now you have to come back to my place!” Barry and Yugen laughed and flirted, enjoying good food and good wine, before deciding to head out.

 

Yugen and Barry stood on the drivers side of Yugens van, “so, if you don’t stay in this van, where do you stay?”

“I stay at the Spruce Avenue Apartments, right between ghettoville and boujieville.” Yugen crossed her arms over her chest, wishing she had worn a jacket.

Barry smiled at Yugen with his hands in his pockets, trying to keep his fingers warm, “yeah, I know where that’s at.”

Yugen smirked at Barry as he gazed into her eyes captivated, mesmerized by her intense dark orbs.

Barry finally broke the silence, “you look extravagant this evening. I really love the hair!”

Yugen smiled, shivering through clenched teeth, “thank you.”

“So uh, I better go catch my bus.”

Yugen took a small step towards him, before he turned to leave, “You take the bus? Barry, let me give you a ride!”

Barry smiled at this, having other thoughts in mind. “Oh honey, you don’t need to do that!”

Yugen caught his eyes and tugged at the sleeve on his coat, “Barry, you paid for the meal and it’s cold out, don’t make me be creepy and tell you to get in the van.”

Barry laughed with heartfelt hilarity, “yes ma’am.” He complied with Yugens demands and they both got in the vehicle, then drove away.

The drive to the zoo was quiet and calm, Die Antwood played in the background as Yugen focused on the road, and Barry stared wistfully out the window.

Yugen slowly came to a stop in front of the zoo, then put her van in park, “Home sweet home.”

Barry grins at Yugen, “Thank you.”

“Oh! Before I forget!” Yugen pulled out a couple of tickets and orange bracelets from her clutch, “the bracelets are so you can get backstage. I hope to see you there!”

“You will definitely see me there!” Barry grinned and winked at Yugen. “Have a great night gorgeous.” He blew a kiss at Yugen then hopped out of the van, leaving her feeling quite flattered and delighted.

 

[Die Antwood-I Fink U Freeky](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Uee_mcxvrw)

[Check out pics here!](https://www.pinterest.com/enolarevfore/benzaiten-fire/chapter6/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you perverts enjoyed!! ; )


	7. The Infernal Mauling

Barry collapsed on his bed, contented and tranquil; he gleamed as he relayed the whole night over in his head. He had a lot of fun talking with Yugen, making her laugh and blush. He was pretty excited to see her perform, he felt warm and at ease as he remembered the sound of her voice; imagining it as a melody. Eventually, he fell asleep and was back in the room with the others, standing in the middle of the incandescent portal. He was greeted with whistles, cheers, glares, and looks of concern as he walked to his chair.

 

“Bro, she was hot!”

 

“I didn’t think you had it in you, Barry!”

 

Heinrich and BT shouted from across the room as Mary Reynolds tall, stocky form stalked over to Barry.

 

You know, depending on how this ends it could mean trouble for the system, especially the way you’ve been slipping up.” Mary stood glowering at Barry with her arms crossed over her chest.

 

“The beast will take care of her.” Patricia saunters by with a nefarious smirk, pissing off several of the alters.

 

“Not that shit again!”

 

“Fuck off, horde!”

 

Patricia could sense the uncertainty among the group, and was intentionally trying to shake the system. It was time for Barry to step up, “O-okay everybody, lets just calm down, alright!”

 

Barry put his hands in the air, and moved them up and down to control the group. He made eye contact with Mary, his eyebrows knitted and his eyes glinted with concern as he attempted to reassure her. “I understand your concern Mary, but I promise if anything happens, I WILL take care of it.”

 

“You don't have a choice at this point! You’re too impulsive! For gods sake, you said you name was Barry!” After scolding Barry, Mary dropped her arms to her sides and walked away, shaking her head.

 

Barry leaned against his chair, Luke walked over to him and slapped him on the arm amiably. “Hey, Barry. That Yugen, she’s really something huh? I really like the fact that she’s from Texas.”

 

Barry looked at Luke and gave a tight smile, “I figured you would.”

 

Luke's thin lips curled into a lopsided smile, “look, whether it works out or not, you gave it a shot...”

 

Barry cut Luke off, “she’s different Luke, I can feel it! She’s not like other girls.”

 

Luke wouldn’t allow it to show, but he was unsettled by his friends growing infatuation, “yeah man, we feel what you feel. I hope it works out, buddy. And if not, I got your back.” He slapped his arm one more time before walking away.

 

Barry sighed and sat down in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose. He had to accept the fact that it may not work out with Yugen, and he had to prepare for the emotional impact.

 

 

Yugen felt that familiar feeling again, that burning sensation in her solar plexus. She had just walked in the door and she was clutching her stomach, nearly collapsing.

 

“Oh God, not agai...” She nearly choked on the familiar, metallic tasting vomit that burned the back of her throat. Yugen ran to the bathroom, vomiting dry black chunks and blood, making her throat feel chafed and scratchy. It didn’t used to be this intense, it used to be a warm blanket wrapping itself around her insecurities—but since Yugen was 17, it was like a cheetah, desperately trying to chew it’s way through something hollow and empty; leaving Yugen sick and convulsing, right before the initial blackout. The only good thing that came from this loss of awareness was her art, the detailed paintings that were finished in a matter of minutes, sending her vivid yet vague messages.

 

Yugen sat back against the bathtub and rested her forearm on the toilet seat, she was shivering and covered in sweat. She was slipping into the abyss, but not before she reached for her clutch to pull out her phone. For Yugen, in this particular situation, time was everything. 9:20…

Tunnel vision consumed her as she was swallowed by darkness, and a black veil was draped over her consciousness.

 

Yugen emerged from the void, she sat on her knees naked—covered in blood, sweat, and paint. She sat between the fireplace and the table, fresh paint had been splattered heavily upon layers and layers of dry paint, making the carpet appear to be the work of Jackson Pollack. A portrait of what looked like Tom Felton sat in front of her, as well as a camcorder that stood a few feet away. She never met this man before in her life, but his blonde hair and blue eyes felt indistinctly familiar. Barry began to come to mind and her eyebrows drew together—these paintings were meant to tell her something, for the first time, she didn’t understand what the message was. What does this man in the portrait have to do with Barry? Do they know each other? Are they lovers? None of these questions felt right…

 

Yugen’s eyes went wide, her questions were quickly shrouded with a natural realization when she felt a gushing sensation between her legs, she stood up and a crimson stream ran down her inner thigh.

‘My period, of course!’ She thought to herself as she rolled her eyes, then ran to the bathroom.

 

Yugen peered at herself in the full length mirror—her braids were still intact, but her up-do was disheveled, the rest of her hair clustered together like wet sticky dreadlocks; her make up was smeared and ran down her face, from head to toe she was covered in gunk and muck, making her appear wild and primal.

 

‘I look like Amy Whinehouse before the rehab.’ Her face contorted into shock and disgust during her self assessment, she averted her gaze from the mirror and quickly turned the shower on. Yugen had gotten used to this happening every month, she loved the paintings and she was thankful it didn’t happen in public. However, she really hated the mess—she hated the sickness that left her throat feeling raw and sore, most of all, she really hated how isolated it made her feel; the loneliness that made her feel less than human.

 

Strange things have always happened to Yugen, deep down she felt they were somehow connected to her strange abilities. As she washed the grime off her body, she decided that tomorrow, she would go to Harry’s World and pay the crone a visit.

 

[Jack off Jill-When I am Queen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nS8Qi2x8KTU)

[Check out pics here!](https://www.pinterest.com/enolarevfore/benzaiten-fire/chapter7/)


	8. This is One Fucked Up Fairytale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you would like to acquire some knowledge in the craft and herbalism, read the end notes! Thank you for reading =)

Harry’s world wasn’t far from Yugen’s apartment, so she decided to walk, the afternoon sun and the mild autumn breeze made the weather perfect. When she got to the shop, she walked in and glanced at a chubby Indian guy behind the counter, noticing he was on the phone. Yugen decided to look around the store, stopping on a bronze Hecate statue. She studied the detail; the torch, the hounds, the skull…

 

“You’re not here to buy a statue.” Yugen jumped and turned around, standing in front of an elderly woman with long gray dreads.

 

“Uh, no I’m actually here for a reading. Are you The Crone?”

 

The old woman gave a light chuckle, “Yes, but you may call me Carlen. How did you hear about us?”

 

“Michelle, from the Java Art Cafe.”

 

“Ah! I thought so! Michelle is actually my niece. She has people call me the crone as a joke.” Carlen smiled warmly, holding no grudge against the nickname.

 

Yugen laughed, “That definitely sounds like Michelle!”

 

Carlen knew this woman was coming, she had a feeling someone of intense energy would seek her guidance. She could feel Yugen’s uncertainty the moment she walked in the store, so she studied her a moment before approaching her.

 

Carlen gestured towards an area blocked off by purple velvet tapestry, “Come, we’ll go to the back so we can talk a little more.”

 

Yugen and Carlen walked towards the curtain, the elder turned towards the young Indian behind the counter, who was now writing on a yellow notepad. “Ras, hold down the fort, I’m doing a reading.”

 

“Yes ma’am.” Yugen and Ras made eye contact for a little over a second, almost as if they knew each other.

 

Yugen was calm, but nervous as she entered the room and scanned her surroundings. The room was a rich maroon color—built in shelves contained jars of herbs, candles, and various ritual items. Black cabinets were filled with books, teacups, and decorated with bronze statues. A crystal chandelier hung above a round table, draped with a velvet maroon cloth.

 

“Please, have a seat,” Carlen gestured towards one of the dark brown chairs. Yugen took a seat as she continued to glance around the room.

 

Carlen occupied herself with a coffee pot full of hot water, pouring a steaming stream of liquid over dried lavender flowers and rose petals. She dropped a fresh dandelion flower on top, then pulled out a couple of jars containing dried herbs. She dropped a couple of pinches in a cast iron bowl sitting in front of Yugen, then set the herbs aflame.

 

Carlen lit a purple and white taper candle on the table as she spoke, “sage is for cleansing and rosemary is for focus. The purple candle will open up the third eye and uncover hidden knowledge.” She walked over to the tea as she continued, “the white candle will neutralize the effects of karma in case our journey is a bit rocky.”

 

She set the tea down in front of Yugen, “but you already knew that, didn’t you? You get it from your parents, a natural witch, hm?” Carlen sat in a chair across from the younger woman, staring expectantly.

 

“Well, my grandparents had a lot of occult literature lying around and I just absorbed a lot of knowledge.”

 

“I see...would you like honey or stevia with your tea? I’ll need you to drink it while we talk, it’ll help me get a more accurate reading.”

 

“Stevia please.”

 

The older woman stood from her chair and opened up a black drawer, pulling out a dainty white ceramic bowl. She set it down next to Yugen’s tea and gave her a small, vintage tea spoon. Yugen delicately stirred, careful not to crack the fragile china.

 

Carlen sat back down, “could I see something personal of yours?”

 

Yugen reached inside her black leather case, pulling out the portrait of the Tom-Felton-looking-guy. Carlen held the painting in her hands and her eyes went wide, she let out a light gasp as a surge of energy shot through her fingertips, making her entire body shudder. The elderly woman looked back over at Yugen as she took another sip of her tea, her aura was iridescent and translucent; orbs of color danced around her as if a sun catcher had cast it’s radiance in her direction, creating a rainbow of colors.

 

‘ _This isn’t possible, this makes no sense...’_ Carlen tried her best to comprehend what she was seeing as she continued to gawk at the girl.

 

“Is something wrong?” Yugen sets her teacup down with a light clank.

 

Carlen turned her eyes back to the painting, “You have a gift, a gift that comes from something inside you. A fire...one that can only burn once out of the month.”

 

Yugen’s eyebrows went up, astonished by the woman’s accuracy. Carlen took Yugen’s hands in hers, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. “You met a man, but he is not who he appears to be...I see an old train station, surrounded by fog and barren trees...no life in sight except...”

 

Yugen continued to watch and listen with fascination. The ridges between Carlen’s eyebrows sunk even deeper as she squinted her already closed eyes, trying to get a closer look at something. “What is that?”

 

Yugen’s heart raced as she watched the older woman with wide eyes, staring with anticipation. Carlen was still attempting to peer at a figure rustling in the trees, but there was a block. Soon she became overwhelmed with a strong sense of foreboding, and the sound of glass cracking in her ears—right before it loudly shatters, forcing Carlen out of her trance with a jolt. She jumped and gasped, knowing she wouldn’t be able to finish the reading.

 

Yugen held her hand over her chest, “Are you okay?”

“I’m very sorry sweetheart but...things feel very...broken,” Carlen took a deep breath and rubbed her temples. “There are too many fragments for me to get a clear picture.”

 

Yugen’s eyebrows drew together, “what do you mean by fragments?”

 

“The only way I know how to explain it to you is, the man you are seeing is not always who he appears, but I do still think you can get the answers you’re looking for, you’ll just need some supplies.” Carlen spoke softly and directly.

 

Yugen was a bit disappointed, but even more concerned about how deceitful she made Barry out to be. “So, do you think it’s safe to continue seeing him?”

 

“I sense...great fear, and a lot of sadness. I can tell that there is a strong connection between you two, and I think it’ll bring out the best, and the worst in both of you.” Carlen spoke candidly, yet Yugen still felt ambivalent. “But, love makes devils of us all, I wouldn’t let it deter you dear.” Yugen smiled kindly at Carlen, who did so right back.

 

“So, how much do I owe you?” Yugen inquired.

 

Carlen held up a hand, “you’ll only need to pay for the supplies, I get the feeling I’ll be seeing you again.”

 

***

 

Yugen anxiously walked home, nearly running into a woman with a small child.

 

“Whoops! Sorry!” Yugen states as the woman shoots her a dirty look.

 

Yugen was tense, anticipating the possibilities ahead. When she entered her apartment, she turned on the lamps and sat on her couch, taking a few deep breaths to ground herself. When she felt at ease, she took out the supplies and lit the small white candle. She scattered salt around the parameter of the apartment, then sat back down. She opened the jar of full moon water and put some on her middle finger, then dabbed it right between her brows. She opened up the ottoman and pulled out her pipe—the dime bag caught her eye.

 

“Why not...” She grabbed the baggie and closed the ottoman, then gathered a pinch of weed and the mugwort into the pipe. It took her about two minutes to finish smoking the herbs, she clutched the labradorite stone in one hand and hugged the painting close.

 

“Lacus...Lacus...Lacus...” She repeated the phrase until her words drifted away along with her mind, falling into a heavy slumber.

 

The air around her shifted, causing goosebumps to form upon her bare shoulders. Her heart beat and her body seemed to float, making her stomach churn as she moved through time and space. Suddenly, everything stopped and Yugen heard glass cracking. _Crash!_ She landed on a hard surface, letting out a groan before she slowly worked towards sitting up. Yugen looked around her, noting that she landed in what looked like an old bus or train; there were no seats—dirt, twigs, and shards of mirror surrounded her. In the corner, a torch stood from a make shift sconce in a tree branch that grew into the window. Yugen slowly got to her feet, noticing that the portrait was now just a piece of parchment; in dark red letters it said, ‘Find Me.’ She noticed that the stone was no longer in her hand, so she looked around at her feet. Shit! She no longer had it…

 

‘ _Oh well, might as well get what I came here for.’_ She focused her thoughts on the task at hand, grabbing the torch, allowing the bright yellow flame to light the darkness ahead of her.

 

Yugen felt like she had been walking for days—she was lost, dirty, and bleeding. The glow from her torchlight was growing faint, and she had no idea where she was going, or what exactly she should be looking out for. She felt like she was on an alien planet—the air was eerily quiet and still, there were no signs of life; the only sounds she could hear was the crunching beneath her black, chunky boots. She stopped to study the parchment once more...Was she supposed to find the guy in the portrait?

 

Yugen thought back on Carlen’s words, _‘He is not always who he appears to be.’_ Then she thought about Barry and how he referred to himself as ‘us.’ Her mind shifted to fond memories of her best friend Sarah, who has DID and would occasionally slip up the same way with strangers. Does Barry have DID?

 

Yugen heard the faint sound of voices, a wave of cautious optimism allowed her to breathe a sigh of relief as she slowly approached. As she got closer, she saw a glimmer of what appeared to be more torches, which was a good thing because her torch had gone out. Yugen’s stopped dead in her tracks upon what she saw—within the grassy clearing an old woman, a man with glasses and a strong build, and a young boy stood by a large terrifying creature; to Yugen’s horror he began to speak in a gruff, booming voice.

 

“Someone is here, a woman, and she is close.” The creature inhaled, “very close.”

 

Out of fear, Yugen took a step back, stepping on a large twig. _SNAP!_ She stopped breathing as the man, the woman, and the child turned their heads in her direction.

 

The man with glasses spoke, “we already know you’re here, you might as well come out.”

 

Yugen took a deep breath, accepting that she had no choice but to do what the man asked. She emerged from the dark forest, trying her best to play it cool. The child next to the man let out a gasp, before the child could say anything, the man whispered for him to be quiet. The beastly creature crouched down, he began circling Yugen predaciously on his front and hind legs. Yugen didn’t dare move or breathe as the creature stopped behind her, sniffing her hair and then licking her shoulder with his forked, reptilian tongue. She smelled sooo good…

 

“What are you doing here?” The older woman looked Yugen over, she was quite peculiar. Her black and white striped stockings and her white dress were dirtied from the woods, her black lace arm warmers rode down underneath her elbows, revealing thick layers of scar tissue.

 

“I came here looking for answers.” Yugen didn’t know what to say, the frightening creature was only a few inches from her face breathing on her, and she was expecting it to devour her at any moment.

 

“Sweetheart, we can’t give you answers if we don’t know what the question is.” The older woman smirked as the creature gently brushed a lock of hair from Yugen’s face, leaving Yugen feeling confused at the feeling of comfort it gave her.

 

“Don’t be afraid, just tell us what you want.” The creature whispered in Yugen’s ear, making her spine tingle.

 

“I...do these paintings that are supposed to send me a message...but I didn’t know what the message was, so I went to a lady whose advice brought me here.” Yugen’s words flowed more coherently than she expected them to.

 

“What was the painting of?” The man with glasses looked at Yugen’s face, she was unusual but very pretty, even with the lip ring. He had a fleeting thought of where she might have other piercings.

 

“It’s of a guy with blonde hair and blue eyes, he...reminds me of my friend Barry...who reminds me of my friend Sarah who had DID. The lady I talked to said he’s not always who he appears...”

 

The creature now stood a few feet away, the man with glasses stood stiff, his face revealing only a hint of surprise over what seems to be his usual stoic expression. The boy was wide eyed with a gleeful smile, “Mr. Dennis!”

 

“Quiet, Hedwig!” The man named Dennis scolded the boy named Hedwig as the lady approached Yugen.

 

Yugen felt an odd sense of longing as the woman stood in front of her. The older woman looked at the younger woman's arms, running the back of her index finger down the disfiguring welts, her eyes landed on the piece of paper in her hand.

 

“What do you have there?” She whispers in her soft British accent, appearing motherly and sympathetic.

 

Yugen handed over the parchment, “It was the portrait, but when I got here it changed into that.”

 

The elderly woman looked at the parchment, the back at Yugen. Her eyes settled on her necklace, she reached out and carefully held up the pendant with her fingers. She smiled at the cheschire cat charm and the words inside of the pendant, ‘We’re all mad here.’ _She has no idea just how mad we really are…_

 

“Curiouser, curiouser...Someone’s certainly had a glimpse through the looking glass. My names Patricia.”

 

“I’m Yugen.”

 

Patricia’s tone became serious, “Yugen, does this look like wonderland to you?”

 

Yugen’s eyes started to well up with tears—she suddenly felt sad, broken...torn, “no.”

 

Patricia’s temperament suddenly changed, she ripped the necklace off of Yugen, and clutched it close to her chest as she backed away. The creature stomped forward, towering above all of them by several feet.

 

“Barry must be held accountable, HE must be the one you get your answers from! Now, back to the rabbit hole you go!” The creature grabbed Yugen by the waist, then threw her up in the air. Once more, she heard glass shatter—she fluttered her eyes open, thankful she woke up gently on a soft surface. She sat up, recognizing that she was back in her apartment. She peered solemnly at the portrait in her lap, “oh, Barry...”

 

She set the painting between the table and the couch, and was shocked to see that her dress and her stockings were filthy. She moved her hand up to her collarbone, only to find that her necklace wasn’t there.

 

[Ayria-Blue Alice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fk-0cT5IwI)

[Check out pics here!](https://www.pinterest.com/enolarevfore/benzaiten-fire/chapter8/)

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lacus is Latin meaning Transport  
> Mugwort has been used to help strengthen clairvoyance and provide a deeper connection to the spirit world. It can bring prophetic dreams, astral projection, and visions.  
> Labradorite stones are known to activate the third eye.  
> Lavender is calming and helps aid in divination. Rose petals help to open your mind for psychic awareness and Dandelion calls the spirits.


	9. White Rabbit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to take the time to thank everyone who left kudos and positive reviews. It really means alot to me! I've always loved reading fanfiction but I chose to write one for Split/Glass because it hits very close to home. I promise I will not leave you guys hanging by leaving this story unfinished. I hate that just as much as much as you do! I hope you enjoy reading this story just as much as I enjoy writing it =)

Dr. Fletcher opened the door to her apartment—a good looking man in a large black coat, a black v-neck, and gray joggers climbed up the very last step; he greeted her with a warm smile. “Hey Dr. Fletcher, I brought the painting!” Barry pointed at the canvas tucked under his arm, exposing what looked like digital art.

 

Dr. Fletcher smiled at him, “Well come on in and lets take a look!”

 

Barry sat in a leather green chair and Dr. Fletcher sat across from him, she held the painting in front of her with both hands, admiring it’s flawless and unmistakable symbolism. “Wow, Barry! This is...phenomenal! The detail is impeccable. And you said her name is Yugen McAvoy?”

 

“Yeah, she has an etsy page and a website so you should look her up. Be prepared though, she charges an arm and a leg.” The corner up Barry’s mouth went up in a half smile, yet his gut twisted with apprehensiveness.

 

“As well she should.” Dr. Fletcher handed Barry the painting, who set it down next to his crossed legs. “So, how was the date?”

 

Barry’s mouth curved into a smile and his cheeks turned pink, “It was wonderful, Yugen’s amazing...but some of the others are worried.” Barry took a deep breath, puffing his cheeks as he exhaled; Dr. Fletcher sat patiently. “A couple of years ago, she played at the zoo—apparently she does all the music herself and her performance was astounding, it immediately drew me in.”

 

Barry paused for a moment, resting his head in his hand as his eyes bore into the oriental rug in front of him, “I guess that would be the moment I became enamored with her. When I saw her at the cafe, I was eager to talk to her...and I told her my name was Barry.”

 

Barry took his head out of his hand and kept his gaze on the rug, too embarrassed of his admission to look directly at the doctor. When Dr. Fletcher noticed that Barry finished speaking she asked, “Are they concerned about Yugen rejecting you all?”

 

Barry’s mouth set in a hard line as he nodded slowly, “Yep and Patricia even made a threat towards Yugen with the beast...” Barry let out a sharp breath and rolled his eyes before continuing, “I know they’re just stories and she’s not allowed in the light but...it still worries me. I feel like her and Dennis are up to something.”

 

Dr. Fletcher nodded and pressed her lips tightly together as she thought of her next word carefully, “One thing all of you need to remember is—you are all extraordinary, unique individuals and if she can’t see that, then she doesn’t deserve you. Any of you! It may hurt if she rejects you guys, but you all deserve to be loved just like everyone else. For your sake and the others, try to believe that. Okay?”

 

The corner of Barry’s mouth twitched as he nodded, “Thank you Doctor.”

 

“Do you mind if I talk to some of the others?”

 

Barry closed his eyes... _Shudder Switch Gone!_

 

“Hi Dr. Fletcher! It’s Jade.” Jade smiled courteously as she leaned forward, clasping her fingers around her crossed knee.

 

“Hello, Jade. How do you feel about Yugen and Barry?” Dr. Fletcher politely inquired.

 

“It’s kinda weird actually, I thought he was gay! But then again, I like guys and...I’d do her.” Dr. Fletcher chuckled as Jade continued, “She seems really sweet and she has a wicked sense of humor, but I do agree with some of the others who say he acted impulsively.”

 

_Shudder Switch Gone!_

 

Kevin’s body was quickly taken over by another alter, his legs quickly uncrossed and he sat forward, palms set firmly on the arms of the chair. “Dr. Fletcher! This is Mary Reynolds!”

 

“And Ian!”

 

The twins spoke testily about Barry’s hasty decision making, Mary Reynolds spoke first, “Yugen seems like a very lovely girl—but Barry behaved very irresponsibly!”

 

Ian stood from the chair, grabbing his genitals through his pants as he spoke with his thick irish accent, “that’s because he was too busy playing with his mickey!”

 

_Shudder Switch Gone!_

 

“Hey Dr. Fletcher, it’s Luke,” Luke walked around Dr. Fletcher’s chair and stood in front of her as she continued to listen and observe. “Yugen’s a beautiful woman and despite my big mouth, I didn’t tell him I think he’s making a mistake. It won’t work, it can’t work! Theirs just no way!”

 

Dr. Fletcher continued to talk to the others as well as Barry, unaware of everything going on within the inner world.

 

 

 

~

 

The beast followed Yugen’s scent back to the dwelling in which he was born—the train station. Dennis and Patricia followed with torches in hand along the pathway, Hedwig walked next to Patricia, his tiny hand wrapped around hers. When they finally reached the creatures home, his hooves snapped sticks and crunched the dead vegetation beneath them, his long sharp talons clicked and scraped upon the rusted metal of the train floor; he then breathed in the area littered with reflective pieces of glass. He picked up the aromatic scents of power, pain, and...menstrual blood.

 

“Whoa!” Hedwig was awestruck by the shards of mirror, scattered amongst the twigs and leaves.

 

The beast stood tall, his chest heaving as he growled. “This is where she fell.”

 

Dennis, Patricia, and Hedwig looked around; noticing the roof of the train was completely intact. None of them understood where the glass came from.

 

“She definitely knows how to make an entrance.” Dennis stated as he took in the sight before him.

 

Patricia stared at the necklace in her hand, stroking her thumb along the edges of the oval shaped pendant, “She certainly does.”

 

Patricia clutched the pendant tightly to her heart until her knuckles turned white, the beast took the torch from her other hand and placed it in the tree sconce. She pulled her rose colored shawl closer to her as she viewed the glass in front of her, contemplating recent events. Dennis lifted a brow as he looked over at her, curious about her demeanor. “You know you probably scared her ripping off that necklace, care to tell us whats on your mind?”

 

Tears shimmered in Patricia’s eyes, her voice shook as she struggled to find the words. “She frightens me Dennis, the way she’s able to come into our world and see us as we are...I don’t know how to process this.” Tears began to spill as Patricia continues to speak, “and her arms...Did you see her arms? The pain etched so deeply into her skin?”

 

Dennis nodded, “I did.”

 

The beast stood in front of all of them, his large form emanating strength. “She is pure...and powerful, but she doesn’t know of her full potential. Soon Barry will have no choice but to let her know of us. It is likely, she’ll accept us. Till then, be patient. When you finally take the light, bring me my food and bring me Yugen!”

 

[Collide-White Rabbit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZZHFVJOrUk)

[Check out pics here!](https://www.pinterest.com/enolarevfore/benzaiten-fire/chapter9/)


	10. Once More With Feeling

Barry stood at his clothes rack with a white towel wrapped around his waist trying to figure out what to wear. “No, no, no...” He slid aside several garments on metal hangers, before landing on a black pullover with a draped collar and thumb holes. He placed it on the unsightly red flannel bed spread, then pulled out a pair of black harem sweatpants from a faded dresser drawer. He let the towel fall to his ankles, then slipped on his pants. He walked over to his bed, pulling his shirt over his head. He put on a pair of black high top sneakers, then looked at himself in a large mirror with no frame.

 

“It’s time you let her know of us Barry.” Barry cocked an eyebrow at Patricia’s voice ringing in his ears, blocking out the indistinct sounds around him like aggressive tinnitus.

 

“What do you care? I thought you wanted the beast to get her?” Barry retorted derisively as he slipped on a long sweater that hung past his knees.

 

“I’m only trying to look out for the well being of everyone, especially Kevin’s. Besides, everyone agrees.” Patricia stated calmly and matter-of-factually.

 

Barry felt a familiar migraine, the migraine that suggested that everyone was trying to talk to him at once. Without any words being said, he already knew what they were saying. Patricia wasn’t lying, they all agreed. “Alright, alright! Tonight I’ll tell her.”

 

~

 

Yugen sat backstage at the Underground Arts Theater, peering at herself in the dressing room mirror; her once dark brown hair was now blood read on top and platinum blonde on the bottom, her makeup’s a red smokey eye, with red and silver glitter dusted on her lower lids. Her lip ring was a horseshoe barbell with red crystals at each end, and her nose piercing contained a red heart shaped nose stud.

 

Yugen not only looked different, but she felt different. The experience she had a few days ago was orphic, frightening, and strangely liberating. She drifted throughout the week, feeling far away from her surroundings. She constantly thought of her friends back in Texas, especially Sarah. When she thought of them, she thought of Barry. She KNEW that the man in the portrait was Barry, yet she questioned whether or not the people she met in that dark world were his alters. She wasn’t certain, but it felt right. She walked over to the leather purple couch, relaxing as she sipped her tea before going onstage.

 

~

 

Barry stood in the back of the venue, trying to avoid the rowdy assemblage. One of the opening bands called, Rotting Queen was absolutely terrible! Yet somehow, they managed to have fans because a group of people in the very front were moshing. Barry rolled his eyes as he took a big gulp of water, mulling over how he would tell Yugen about the others. Some of them tried to offer suggestions, but he knew none of it would go accordingly.

 

To Barry’s relief, Rotting Queen stopped playing, he perked up as the young female group walked off the stage. He barely recognized Yugen as she sauntered across the stage to set up—her hair, her clothes, even the way she moved was different. The crowd, including Barry and his head mates fell silent. A few of the male patrons made whistling noises at her eye-catching outfit, her corset’s an ivory color with a sweetheart neckline, ruby red beads and crystals were sewn together in clusters with a few streaming haphazardly; giving the appearance of deep gashes bleeding from her breast, ribs, and her hip. Her skirts asymmetrical and the same color as her corset, a couple of crystal gashes lay upon her mid thigh on the longest side of her skirt. Yugen also wore a pair of black, platform heels embellished with silver spikes. Aside from her brazen outfit, her hands and her arms were smeared with blood.

 

Barry’s eyes were unwavering as the music played, and Yugen began to sing. Her performance was an out pour of intense emotions, her dark lyrics were branded into every soul in the room. Her movements were subtle, yet heavy with lachrymose. She wasn’t trying to be sexual like Barry had previously thought, she was trying to tell a story. After Yugen finished singing, the entranced crowd slowly emerged from their half-conscious state, filling the venue with a roaring standing ovation. She only sang a couple of more songs after that—she walked off the stage smiling, waving, and blowing kisses at the crowd with her laptop tucked under her arm.

 

Yugen sat alone backstage, the members of Rotting Queen had taken their party elsewhere, along with a couple of boxes of pizza and a case of beer. She pulled her phone out of her laptop bag and texted Barry, ‘If u go towards the emergency exit to the right of the stage a bouncer will let u back here.’

 

Barry felt a vibration in the pocket of his pants, he pulled out his phone, reading a text message from Yugen. He looked over at the exit sign near the stage, then immediately headed over. He showed the bouncer his bracelet, then walked through. He turned right into a small hallway containing two doors and an open dressing room, where Yugen sat patiently on a couch; in front of her sat a couple of plates of pizza and a couple of beers on a black wooden table.

 

Yugen’s face lit up when she saw Barry walk into the room, then jumped up to embrace him. “Hey you!”

 

Barry eagerly embraced her, “hey, it’s good to see you again!” He pulled away from her, taking her hands in his as he looked her over. He noticed Yugen's scars when she was onstage, from afar she looked like a burn victim, but up close it was evident that the old wounds were self inflicted; the fake blood on her arms and the red crystalline wounds on her outfit were an ostentatiously emotive statement. “Well look at you, Ms. Bold and Beautiful.”

 

Yugen laughed and playfully slapped him on the arm, “shut up!” Barry laughed at Yugen flushed cheeks as he followed her over to the couch.

 

“So, what did you think of the show?” Yugen took a bite of her pizza, then playfully nudged Barry with her shoulder.

 

“The first band was horrible Yugen...” Yugen's face scrunched up with laughter at Barry’s forthright comment, “but you were amazing as usual.”

 

“Why thank you!” Yugen smiled flirtatiously, then took a swig of beer.

 

“You’re welcome, honey! Now, you have to tell me, where did you get that dress?” Barry tore off a corner of his pizza and began eating it.

 

“A friend of mine who is also a fashion designer made it. Oh! And his sister did my hair. You might meet them tonight if you wanna stick around for a while,” Yugen smiled hopefully at Barry.

 

“I’d love to stick around,” Barry looked away from Yugen and stared at the plate of pizza in front of him, his beer hung loosely from his fingers as he hunched forward; Yugen could sense he wanted to tell her something, “but theirs something I need to be honest with you about.”

 

Yugen set her beer on the table and shifted her body towards Barry, clasping her hands in her lap, “honesty is good.”

 

Barry set his beer on the table then interlaced his fingers, taking a deep breath. “I have...Dissociative Identity Disorder.” He looked over at Yugen, who was wearing a soft smile on her face, as if she already knew.

 

“I uh...I have this friend that I’ve known since I was 18, we were really close at one point. We traveled together in that same van, we played music together, we even lived together for a while before I bought the van from her and her husband and went my own way. She has DID and she’s the kindest, most genuine friend I’ve ever had...” Yugen looked down at her hands, fondly remembering Sara’s light blue eyes and her bright pink and blue hair, then turned her eyes back to Barry. “What you told me actually doesn’t surprise me, you remind me of her in a lot of ways.”

 

Barry’s eyes were wide with shock, his mouth was slightly agape before it turned up into a smile. “Seriously?”

 

Yugen nodded, “I do believe that you’re all real people, I know that you guys have your own strengths and weaknesses; ages, appearances, IQ’s...”

 

“Can I kiss you?” Barry’s heart beat faster as he gazed at Yugen, anticipating her response.

 

Yugen’s inner thighs tingled and her lower belly burned with excitement, she felt no need to give him an answer. She place a hand on his cheek, then placed a firm passionate kiss against his lips. Barry placed his hand on her opposite cheek, deepening the kiss. His stubble tickled Yugen's shimmering, velvety skin as the metal from her lip ring grazed Barry’s lips, without hindering the kiss. He tasted her bottom lip tentatively, gently inviting her deeper into his dark, yearning cove. Yugen opened her mouth, twirling and flicking her tongue with his, each of their mouths having a flavor similar to that of spiced rum. Yugen gripped the fabric on Barry’s shoulders as his hands gently, but firmly cupped her face. He flicked Yugen's lip ring with his tongue, then playfully tugged at it with his teeth, making the both of them giggle.

 

They broke apart and Barry took Yugen's hands in his, “I’ve been crazy about you for a couple of years Yugen, ever since I first saw you at the zoo.” Barry brushed Yugen's hair behind her ear, “Some of the others are worried but...I knew you were different.”

 

Yugen leaned her head against Barry’s hand, feeling warm and at home. Her mind flashed back to New York, when she was dumpster diving in the lower east side.

 

_**It was winter in New York, and the air was bitterly cold. Yugen was sifting through a rank pile of garbage, scavenging for a sliver of anything she could find that hadn’t been defiled by parasites. The van was out of gas, she had no money, and she was starving. “You don’t belong here!” Yugen was alarmed by an unexpected voice behind her, she turned around to see an old Asian man holding a brown paper bag. He greeted Yugen by nodding his head, then held out the bag, keeping his gaze on the ground. Yugen reluctantly took the bag from the strange old man, “thank you?” He took a deep reverent bow before walking off, leaving Yugen flabbergasted. She opened up the bag, peering at it’s contents with disbelief—it contained graham crackers, peanut butter, a couple of apples and bananas; a pamphlet of the Spruce Avenue Apartments, and a $20 bill.** _

 

Yugen never believed in God, but she wasn’t without belief. Somewhere deep within her being, she knew that forces beyond her understanding were at work; and now, something big was about to happen—she just didn’t know what. However, she knew that with time, things would always reveal themselves. “Can I ask you something?” Yugen snaps out of her reverie.

 

“Of course, anything!” Barry looked at her with need and longing.

 

“Are you the host?” Barry was slightly taken aback by her question. How much does she actually know about DID?

 

“Uh no, that would actually be Kevin. I should’ve said his name when I introduced myself to you, but… I don’t always think things through.” Barry shrugged off his biggest flaw, grateful that it all worked out when everyone seemed to need it the most.

 

They both continued to talk intimately with each other, Barry mentioned Dr. Fletcher and talked about the system and how it works; for instance, Barry mentioned that Kevin’s been asleep for a couple of years, which seemed pretty extreme to Yugen. He also told her that Kevin held all the physical and emotional memories of his mothers abuse, an occurrence that Yugen knew was rare with DID, and was even more extreme. It appeared that the only way for Kevin and the system could function was if they pushed him down far away, making him weak and disposable. That seemed to be what Kevin wanted, because as Barry despondently put it, he could wake up at anytime. If Yugen ever got the chance to meet Kevin, it’s very likely that he would require a lot of patience.

 

Barry chuckled and Yugen smiled with curiosity, wonder what was so amusing. “What is it?”

 

“Most of them want to meet you, but aren’t comfortable just yet, but a few want to meet you RIGHT NOW!” Yugen chuckled as Barry spoke honestly about the arguments in his head.

 

She looked up at the small, flat screen TV mounted on the wall, noticing the last band was done playing. “Tell you what, I’ve got posters to sign and some merch to sell. If you have nothing better to do, we can head to my place after.”

 

“This girl is full of surprises,” one of the alters stated as Barry looked down and chuckled nervously.

 

Barry’s breath quivered, his mouth felt paralyzed, and his throat felt dry; he cleared his throat as he managed to find his voice, “yeah, that would be great.”

 

~

 

Barry looked around Yugen’s apartment while she changed, he believed that you could tell a lot about someone by the interior of their home, just as much as their taste in clothing. She had tons of art, candles, plants, and witchy aesthetics; her place was very homey, feminine, and a tad bit messy. Yugen was obviously a very eccentric and unique individual, who appeared to have many different hobbies and interests. Yugen emerged from the small hallway next to the kitchen, wearing a black and white striped mini dress with no socks or shoes. She looked drop dead sexy! Yugen sat down on the couch and Barry sat next to her, admiring her bare curvaceous legs. There was only a couple of seconds of silence before Barry decided to speak, “can I ask you a couple of questions? You don’t have to answer them if you don’t want to.”

 

“Ask away,” Yugen says.

 

“Why did you mutilate yourself? And more importantly, do you still do it?”

 

Yugen chuckled at Barry’s tenacious inquiry, “no, I do NOT still do it.”

 

“Good!” Barry nodded as he commented abruptly.

 

“The why, well...I don’t even know where to begin.” Yugen thought for a moment and sighed before continuing, “during my pubescent years, my mom brought home these...guys. They looked at me in ways that they should’ve looked at her and...she took it out on me.”

 

“Did...any of them ever...touch you?” Barry asked heedfully.

 

“Thankfully, no—one tried but he fell over and had a heart attack in my room and died, which my mom blamed me for.” Yugen wasn’t the least bit perturbed by talking about her past, she simply spoke of it as if it no longer meant anything, which to her it didn’t. Yugen had made her own life, it was a struggle to become as comfortable as she is, but she did it on her own terms.

 

However, Barry was clearly bothered by it. Not because he blamed Yugen, or because he was thinking about himself and his mother, but rather the blatant irrationality of blaming a child for a pedophiles sudden death. His eyebrows drew together and his mouth formed a hard line, “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

 

Yugen’s lips curled up at Barry’s genuinity, “It’s okay, we have no contact with each other and she has no idea where I’m at. It’s all in the past.”

 

Barry turned his head away from Yugen, an excruciating headache forming from some of the others trying to get through. He took a deep breath and his eye lids fluttered, Yugen sat patiently, aware that he was dissociating. _Shudder switch gone!_

 

“Hi, I’m Jade!” A new alter fronted, smiling brightly at Yugen.

 

“I’m Yugen!” She greeted her with the same smile in return, as she introduced herself.

 

“Girl, I know!” Jade playfully rolled her eyes, “You’re basically the main point of conversation with us.”

 

Yugen tittered, “I’m flattered, were you able to see the show?” Yugen asked as Jade reached for a slice of pizza.

 

“Yep!” Jade mumbled as she chewed her food.

 

“How does that work for you exactly?” Yugen wondered aloud.

 

“Mm...” Jade chewed her food a little more before swallowing, “basically, we all sit in this room with chairs and a light in the center that represents Kevin’s consciousness; if we hang out in that room and concentrate, we can see what’s going on in the outer world.”

 

“Oh okay.” Yugen nodded in understanding as Jade took another bite, “so do you guys have your own private spaces to hang out in?”

 

“Mhm, but most of us prefer to hang out with each other most of the time, things tend to get interesting.” Jade’s mouth turned up into a sly smirk, staring at Yugen with mock intensity.

 

Yugen laughed quietly, a short huff of air out of her nose that was barely perceptible. “Do you guys have jobs in the inner world? You know, ones that you get paid for?”

 

Jade’s eyes widened with astonishment and a grin formed on her face, “good question! Some of us do actually. Mr. Pritchard is actually a professor...” Jade began to trail off then rolled her eyes, “oh come on just give me a minute...” She groaned loudly as she threw down her pizza, then her face went blank. _Shudder switch gone!_

 

“Hello Yugen! I’m Mr. Pritchard.” They both shook hands, this time Yugen had no need to introduce herself, but cordially stated that it was nice to meet him. Mr. Pritchards eyes lingered on Yugen for only a moment before continuing, “as Jade was saying, I’m a professor of cinema—mostly Japanese films from the 1950’s through 1980’s. And I just want to say that you gave a stunning performance!”

 

Yugen smiled with appreciation as she thanked Mr. Pritchard, who politely nodded, “you’re welcome.”

 

“So, do you have students?” Yugen knocked back the small amount of liquid left in her beer bottle.

 

“Yes ma’am.” Mr. Pritchard responded frankly, sounding like a professor.

 

“Are they part of the system?” Yugen sat up a little straighter, obviously interested in the subject.

 

Mr. Pritchard’s eyes looked past Yugen and his eyebrows knitted, thinking for a moment on how to word the answer to her question. “Uh no, I’m actually not too sure where my students come from. I don’t think anyone understands DID anymore than a physicist understands the quantum world.” Yugen inaudibly chortled at the comment, understanding what he meant. “Before I go, what’s your nationality, if you don’t mind me asking?”

 

“Well, my grandma is French Canadian, my granddad is Mexican, my mom of course is a mixture of both, but my dad—is Japanese.” Yugen smirked at Mr. Pritchard, having a feeling had a thing for Asian women.

 

Mr. Pritchard’s mouth curled up into a delighted smile, “I knew it.” He closed his eyes, momentarily pausing. _Shudder switch gone!_

 

The new person fronting inhaled, fluttering their eyes open. Their posture changed from being upright and open, to an indistinguishable hunch, barely making eye contact. “Hello, I’m Orwell.”

 

“Hey Orwell, it’s nice to meet you.” Yugen smiled warmly at the introverted, intellectual man in the light.

 

“Have you ever heard of the Hindu Goddess, Saraswati?” Orwell looked at Yugen's face for only a second, before averting his eyes back to the arm of the couch.

 

“She’s the Goddess of art, music, creativity, wisdom, learning, and the consort of Brahma.” Yugen stated her knowledge effortlessly, curious about where he was going with this. She thought she saw a small smile on his face, but she wasn’t certain.

 

“Well, her Japanese counterpart goes by the name Benten—or Benzaiten. She is the Goddess of everything that flows—words, music, knowledge, even water.” Orwell's soft gaze blanketed Yugen for the first time, wrapping her in fine silk, “but you’re nothing like water, you’re passionate and you burn—like fire, Benzaiten Fire.”

 

Yugen gleamed at Orwell, “I find your intellect quite charming.”

 

“You’re the only one.” Orwell was obviously not very social, it was evident in his posture and the way he spoke.

 

Yugen moved a bit closer, allowing their knees to touch. She placed a hand on his clasped hands as she gently grazed the back of her index finger under his chin, then delicately cupped his cheek. Orwell leaned into her soft touch, then she leaned forward to press a tender kiss to his lips. When Yugen moved away, Orwell huffed out a smile. _Shudder switch gone!_

 

[Tapping the Vein-Butterfly(Alternate Demo Version)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_TQy1eDmrM)

[Check out pics here!](https://www.pinterest.com/enolarevfore/benzaiten-fire/chapter10/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter took a bit longer than expected, but it’s up! The recommended song is what I imagine Yugen would sing so be sure to check that out. Now, on to the story!


	11. I'm your favorite Drug

 

“Hey, it’s Barry...” His breath was hot against her lips as they held each others gaze, relishing the comfort each of them provided for the other. Yugen placed a gentle kiss upon Barry’s lips, who deepened the light intimacy by grasping the back of her neck with a firm, prudent hand. The taste of her candied mouth made him hungry for more, while Barry’s delicate insistence left Yugen melting and nectarous. He wrapped his arm around her waist, leaning back as a direction to straddle him. Barry smiled against Yugen’s lips—he had thought about this very moment, and now that it was happening, he was heated; excited, and nervous all at the same time. Yugen felt just as impassioned by him as she rubbed her self against his hard ridge, turned on by her own wetness staining his pants. She let out a small moan into his mouth, getting lost in the enjoyment of the friction. Barry snaked his hands from her waist, slithering his way up her thighs and under her dress, gasping when his hands cupped her ass.

“You’re not wearing any panties.” Barry spoke just above a whisper, his eyes narrowing with carnality.

 

“Nope...” Yugen brushed the tip of her tongue against Barry’s lips, “you want?”

 

“Oh, baby girl I want!” Barry flipped Yugen onto her back, kissing her with titillated fervor. He moaned into her mouth as he pressed his erection between her legs, “I like where this is goin’.” Barry removed his sweater, haphazardly tossing it behind him.

 

“You wanna...see my room?” Yugen asked between kisses.

 

“Yeah I do.” Barry kissed her one more time before getting up, extending his hand to her.

 

Yugen walked Barry by the hand to her room, not bothering to pull her dress back down under her well formed hips. Barry watched her from behind, open-mouthed by her blatant sexuality and her shameless ability to leave her old wounds unconcealed, she fearlessly and unapologetically laid herself bare to the world. Yugen did not know just how much Barry admired her, nor did she know that he had already fallen in love with her. That feeling among others intensified upon reaching the threshold of the bedroom. Yugen turned around and wrapped her arms around Barry’s neck, pulling him into a lust-filled kiss. He put his hands on her ample bottom, lifting her up as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He carried her into the room and Yugen placed her feet on the ground, just before reaching the edge of the bed. Inch by inch she slowly peeled her dress over her head, exposing her sultry figure. Barry stood frozen, taking in every curve, every muscle—every scar. She was sexy and alluring, in both her confidence and her ownership of her flaws.

 

Yugen sat down on the bed, leaning back on her hands, “come here.”

 

Before walking to her, Barry took off his pullover, then tossed it to the ground. Yugen hooked her index finger into his waistband once he was in arms length. She carefully pulled his pants down, exposing him completely. She looked Barry in the eyes as she slid her tongue up his long shaft, then slowly took him into her mouth. Barry let out a light gasp as he tangled his fingers into her hair, blissfully closing his eyes. Yugen let out a soft moan, her oral stimulation becoming more fervent, making his cock slick with saliva.

 

Barry tugged on her hair gently to pull her head back, “come here baby...” He nudged Yugen’s outer thigh, a gesture that demanded she crawl towards the other end of the bed.

 

Yugen laid submissively on her back, rubbing the heat between her thighs. Barry took off the rest of his clothes before climbing on top of her, placing a kiss on her flushed pink lips. He kissed and nibbled on her ear, neck, and collarbone. He was commanding and attentive, making her pleasure center ignite like a hearth set aflame; her spine tingled and her body squirmed with desperation. Barry’s lips finally made it to the flesh between her thigh and her labia, sensually teasing her before placing his lips on her swollen nub, then lapped her up as if a forbidden nile had flooded her sacred garden. Yugen grasped the pillow underneath her head, arching her back, and filling the room with sonorous whimpering as she reached her first climax.

 

Barry kissed Yugen roughly, forcing her to taste her juices. She reciprocated the act by wrapping her legs around his waist, urging him to enter her. His pace started out slow and steady, Yugen rhythmically moved her hips with his as they tenderly nibbled each others lips. Barry rested his forehead against hers as he began to pump harder, mewlings of ecstasy resounding in the room. Yugen dug her nails into Barry’s shoulders as she reached her second climax. Barry wasn’t far behind her, he spilled inside of her, burying his face in her neck as Yugen lovingly stroked the back of his head.

 

No pictures for this chapter you guys! I appreciate everyone who read my story, left kudos, and bookmarked. You're all awesome :-) Oh, and by the way, Happy 4/20!!!

[Recommended Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWCpF7TmnAQ)


	12. Spellbound

The other alters went to their individual spaces to give Barry and Yugen some privacy—Dennis, Patricia, and Hedwig left for the train station.

 

“Barry told her and she accepted us, she’s even met some of the others.” Patricia states with reverence towards the saintly beast.

 

“She also has a friend with the same gift as us.” Dennis chimes in with devotion and subtle timidity.

 

The beast laughs with victorious respite as he turns his back to the horde, his eyes glaze over in thought as he stares at the glass in front of him, placing his hands together with benediction. “Blessed be the broken...” The beast turns around to face the horde once again, “I want to know what she’s like with Kevin.”

 

Dennis and Patricia glance at each other, flummoxed by the command. Hedwig’s face contorts with perplexity, then he states with childish bemusement, “what?”

 

Although the beasts reasoning clicked with Patricia, Dennis still had questions. He nervously runs a hand over his scalp, “Uh...forgive me but, I thought the point in all of this was to protect Kevin, not put him in harms way...” Dennis wasn’t afraid of Yugen, in fact, he thought she was special; but people are unpredictable. For Kevin’s sake, he and some of the others were reluctant to let him have the light.

 

The beast let out a gnarring huff, then Patricia began to explain, “Dennis, don’t you understand? He wants to find out if we can trust her to keep him safe.” Patricia then speaks directly to the beast, “Am I correct?”

 

“You are correct, my child. Convince the others that Kevin should take the light, it won’t take long after that to find out if she’s a friend or foe.” The beast words rumbled authoritatively, his chest heaving as his god-like stature allowed no further question.

 

~

 

 

Barry and Yugen didn’t sleep that night, so they decided to go to Penn Treaty Park. They sat at a bench shoulder to shoulder, sipping coffee with donuts in their laps. Barry looked her over, salaciously peering at her outfit. She wore the same mini dress under a black wool coat with leather on the sleeves, as well as a pair of grey thigh high cable knit socks, and a pair of knee high boots.

 

“This girl could put on a moo moo and totally pull it off,” Barry laughs at Jades abrupt statement.

 

Yugen turned her head at his sudden outburst with a curious smile, “what’s so funny?”

 

“Jade thinks you could wear a moo moo and manage to pull it off,” Barry smirks and Yugen sniggers at the comment.

 

“That’s sweet.” Yugen sips her coffee, hoping to hide her awkward blushing.

 

“So tell me a little about your friend Sarah, how did you two meet?” Barry questioned, then took a sip of his coffee.

 

Yugen explains to Barry that when she was 18, she got a job at a doggy day care walking dogs; a job that helped her loose a lot of weight. She mentions that she wanted to learn self defense and why—after Yugen and her mother’s intense arguments that often consisted of cruel insults, and emotional manipulation where suicidal threats and self injury were involved, her mom would pay psychiatric facilities to abduct her, locking her away for a prolonged period of time, not knowing if she would ever leave. She felt ashamed of the fact that she was too weak to fight back, so she joined a kickboxing gym that taught MMA and Krav Maga, which is where she met Sarah. However, Sarah was not the one she met. Morrigan was the first—she was the fighter, the protector. She tried on several occasions to talk to Yugen, but Yugen wasn’t well acclimated with social interaction that didn’t involve meaningless cordiality with stuck up rich people, or a screaming match with her mom; so when she first put herself out there, she was very nervous and didn’t really know what to do with herself. After a few conversations, Morrigan realized that Yugen was a very sad, sheltered, tortured little rich girl desperately trying to find her place in the world. Then she met Sarah, to whom she got close to very quickly. Over a course of a few months, Sarah and Morrigan noticed her restrictive diet and her bulimia, they also took notice of it gradually getting worse; she ate very little and always went to the bathroom afterwards, she never went out to eat when invited, her hair started to fall out, and one day she even passed out at the gym.

 

“Sarah has an alter named Katie who’s an anorexic teenager, so they noticed similar symptoms.” Yugen paused for a moment, staring at a donut hole in the palm of her hand, feeling overcome by a sudden loss of appetite.

 

Barry plucked the sugary ball of fried dough from her hand and popped it in his mouth, pulling her from her somber daydream. He decided it would be best to lightly change the subject, “so was she like, your first BFF?”

 

Yugen smiles as she gazes at her coffee, “she was my first everything.”

 

Barry stops chewing upon Yugen’s simple admission, “wow! I get it now.”

 

Barry wraps his arm around Yugen, urging her to lean in closer. They rest their heads against each other, watching the sunrise over the Delaware River. From that moment on, days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months; before they knew it, it was nearly Christmas.

 

Barry didn’t have to work during the holiday, so him and the others decided to spend their Christmas at Yugen’s. Jade and Yugen stole one of Barry’s mannequins and turned it into a Christmas tree, which everyone got a kick out of. Yugen used an old black and purple corset and a black tulle skirt for the upper half, they attached chicken wire to the bottom half then attached the greenery, adorning it with blue and purple lights and ornaments.

 

Yugen made fried chicken and pecan pie with Norma, who apologized quite frequently when she wasn’t talking about her childhood at her parents farmhouse. She was the youngest of two brothers and one sister, the boys would work outside and the girls worked in the home, mostly in the kitchen. Her siblings moved on while she still lived there, when Norma was nineteen her parents died, leaving her and her siblings no choice but to sell the farmhouse. When she was twenty, she married a man who physically and psychologically abused her. One day, when she was lying in a hospital bed on the brink of death, she woke up and wandered off into the woods. She didn’t know where she was going, nor did she understand why she felt compelled to go for a walk in the woods, but that was where she found her place among Kevin’s system; Yugen felt brief concern at the possibility that she too may be an alter.

 

 

Bernice, a Spanish speaking alter, helped Yugen make bean and cheese papusas and chocolate chip cookies. She was ecstatic that Yugen knew fluent Spanish, and was giddy to discuss various topics on Mexican culture. They had long discussions about Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera, all while listening to Chavela Vargas. As she waspishly flattened out the dough in her hands, she talked about how her Dad would beat her Mom as her and her five other siblings watch, sullen with sheer helplessness. When Bernice was in her late 20’s, she walked miles across the desert to escape to America. She wasn’t sure how she ended up in Philadelphia, but expressed that she was grateful to be welcomed into the system.

 

Heinrich made a fried potato dish called Bratkartoffeln, a dish that’s native to Germany, which is originally where he’s from. He came to Philly for an internship at the mutter museum, which he did obtain, but after a night of bar hopping and binge drinking he somehow wandered off and found a home with the other alters. Heinrich was a quirky guy who not only knew how to cook, but also knew how to have fun and enjoy the simple things in life; good food, good books, and good beer—as he put it. Yugen enjoyed his simplistic outlook on life, as well as his morose sense of humor and his questionable infatuation with Rammstein. She found each of Kevin’s alters deeply fascinating, unique, and complex. Since his alters seem to just wonder off, she wondered if they could be ghosts, lost souls that didn’t feel finished and managed to find a purpose.

 

~

 

Barry and Yugen sat back on the couch, snuggled under a pink blanket sipping eggnog. The fire place crackled, an orange glow flickered around the dark apartment, creating romantic ambiance in a silent atmosphere. A vintage wooden bowl filled with pine cones sat in the middle of the table, filling the air with cinnamon spice.

 

“You know uh—some of the others, they’re getting onto me about… you meeting Kevin.” Barry stammered with reluctance.

 

“Well, maybe it would be a good idea… I mean, he deserves the light just as much as you and the others do.” Yugen paused to take a sip of her eggnog, allowing Barry to think as he gazed into the flames, “plus, I would like to meet him.”

 

Barry immediately looks over at Yugen, “you do understand that Kevin is very fragile? Even if he is in the light, it may be a matter of time until he pulls away from it.” Barry’s eyes were wide with anguish, yet sparkling with hope.

 

Yugen gives him a reassuring smile, “I know that Kevin will require some patience and I’ll help him as much as I can, but I would still like to meet him; even if it’s only for a moment. Besides, there are a few others I haven’t met right?”

 

Barry looks down at his eggnog, tapping his glass apprehensively. A loud crack came from the fireplace, prompting him to answer. “Yeah um—well, Rakel and Felida are the main reason you haven’t met Polly, Kat, and Jalin. Don’t be offended, it’s just they’re very protective of them in particular. And Hedwig… he can be a bit of a handful. Dennis and Patricia on the other hand, you are NOT allowed to meet.”

 

The names Hedwig, Dennis, and Patricia rang a very loud bell. Yugen hadn’t heard those names in months and she wasn’t entirely sure if they were alters, but now she knew, and that knowledge made her throat dry as her heart began to drop. She cleared her throat and asked, “Why not?”

 

“Well their beliefs for one, they have this idea that this… beast made up of various animals that I take care of at work was born to… avenge the broken?” Barry scoffs at the abstract philosophy that him, as well as others felt was nothing more than fear mongering, “It’s completely ridiculous! And Dennis...” Barry sighs and shakes his head, resistant to continue, “he has a fondness for watching young women dance naked.”

 

Yugen’s thoughts drifted between Barry’s words and one profound memory—she thought of the large, terrifying animal in the clearing, he too must be an alter; one that hasn’t fully emerged and only the three other alters must know about him. Her emotions shifted between terror and intrigue as she realized she must’ve been in Kevin’s mind, then her mind diverged from her current train of thought back to Barry’s words, “how young?” She asked.

 

Barry explains that he prefers women sixteen to seventeen years of age, that it had something to do with a girl Dennis and Kevin knew, just before Barry emerged. He didn’t know the full story and Dennis refused to talk about it, rendering Barry no other option except to ban him from the light. Yugen understood, then decided it was best not to press the matter any further. Instead, she asked Barry where he came from and how he became a part of the system.

 

Barry grew up with a his mother who raised him by herself, she was an alcoholic artist that moved them all over New York, in search of her big break. Although she was very talented, she had no motivation. Barry loved his mother when she was sober, but when she was drunk she would say very cruel things to him, blaming him for her shortcomings. He was often left with messes that consisted of paint and vomit, up until she died when he was 17.

 

“The doctors said it was liver failure…” Barry’s eyes burn with melancholy as he stares into the fire.

 

Yugen rests her head on Barry’s shoulder with a soft smile, “It’s okay, I understand. As far a Kevin is concerned, one day?”

 

“One day.” Barry winks at Yugen then holds up his glass of eggnog, they clank their glasses together, then knock back the rest of their drinks in mutual agreement.

 

“By the way, I thought you were the bossy fix it guy at the zoo?!” Yugen vivaciously changed the subject, hoping to lighten the heaviness in the air.

 

Barry titters and his cheeks turn pink, explaining that he was nervous on their first date and that it wasn’t a complete lie. He began to describe his job more indepthly—the majority of his job consists of supervising employees as well as the care and handling of animals. He reveals that he isn’t that handy, but then playfully affirms that he assigns and supervises other handy men. Although Barry didn’t show it, he was constantly thrown by her attention to detail, and a bit unnerved by her tendency to keep it to herself; unknowing of the many revelations that await him.

 

Yugen stands up and takes both of their glasses to the kitchen, “By the way, I have a present for you.”

 

“Uh oh! Dare I ask what it is?” Barry asked playfully as Yugen fetches the flat rectangular gift, neatly wrapped in red paper with happy little snowmen.

 

“You’ll just have to unwrap it.” Yugen states with a flirtatious smile.

 

“Hm, maybe later.” Barry teased, quickly looking her over before tearing the paper off, exposing an exact replication of his appearance in Kevin’s mind. Barry’s eyes were wide, fear and confusion obliterated his normally friendly face.

 

Very quickly, Yugen became concerned. _Oh shit! What the hell was I thinking?!_ Her thoughts were consumed with panic and self loathing, her brows knitted and her eyes glistened as she slowly began to drown beneath a wave of sadness. Barry’s head began to dart back and forth between Yugen and the painting before responding, “um Yugen, what is this? H-how?”

 

Devastated by the trembling in his voice, Yugen took a deep breath, blinking back the threat of tears. “During my period, I go into a trance and I do these paintings…” Yugen’s voice wavered, she sniffled and took another deep breath, “they seem to happen within minutes. I know this because I’ve gotten used to checking the time and whatever takes over likes to record everyth…”

 

“Do you have any video’s saved?” Barry interrupted.

 

“Um yeah, you… wanna see them?” Yugen wondered inauspiciously, yet blaming no one but herself for the possibility of loosing Barry and the others.

 

Barry simply nodded, his eyes were round and his jaw clenched, leaving Yugen glooming at the idea that he was angry and disappointed with her. Yugen went over to her desk and grabbed her laptop, then set it on the table in front of them. She clicked on an older video—a naked woman with dark hair obscuring her face stands motionless in front of the camera, a blank canvas lay in front of her, bottles of paint and brushes surround her; left disorderly.

 

Barry watches silently and intently, he drew back a little and his forehead creased with confusion as the video skipped, and the woman he recognized to be Yugen was suddenly a quarter way done with her painting. “Yugen honey, this just looks like some sort of glitch.” Barry states dryly, desperately wanting it to be true, but knowing good and well it wasn’t.

 

Yugen points at the bottom right hand corner of the screen, “Look at the numbers.” The video skips, but the numbers do not.

 

Barry attempts to rationalize everything as the video continues to ‘glitch’ several more times until the painting is done, and the camera just shuts off. He stares at the screen silently for a moment, swallowing hard.

 

“You’re freaked out aren’t you?” Yugen noticed Barry’s distress, normally he took everything in stride and was very good at diffusing tension, but for the moment she felt she had to be the one to diffuse an awkward situation; which is something she’s terrible at.

 

For a split second, Barry looked at her like she’s stupid for even asking, then his face began soften. He took a deep breath, and took Yugen’s hands in his. “A little, but… you have to understand sweetie, I kinda feel like I just found out my girlfriends the Blair Witch.”

 

Yugen chuckles at the comparison, “I know, I’m sorry I just…” Barry brushes a lock of dark hair behind her ear, then Yugen looks him in the eye, “I wanted to be honest with you.”

 

Barry cups her face with his hands and gives her a soft, sensual kiss on her forehead and whispers, “I know. How about we talk about this more in the morning, alright?”

 

Buzzed from food, sugar, and alcohol—Yugen simply nods, feeling the small slice of death tugging at her eyelids.

 

~

 

That night, Yugen and the others fell into a deep sleep, Kevin’s head rests against hers as they cuddle in a warm embrace. Yugen’s eyes flutter open—she stands naked in a dark room filled with chairs, right in the middle of a beam of light that caressed her skin with warmth like that of the sun. She steps over the rubble as she observes her surroundings, rubbing her upper arms as the sun-kissed radiance left her body. Yugen was suddenly hit by a deluge of sadness, fear, and confusion; her eyes settle on a crib in the corner. She walks over to it, silently whispering to herself that she hopes this is all a dream.

 

Yugen examines the infant in the crib, then at the name in cursive blue letters, “Kevin Wendell…”

 

“Don’t!” Yugen jumps at the voice behind her, turning quickly to notice the woman in the forest clearing. “Do not say his name, if you do you’ll throw us all into chaos.” Patricia spoke firmly without surrendering her maternal grace, “and no, you’re not dreaming.” She hands over a slate gray button down to an awestruck Yugen.

 

Yugen slips on the shirt, then buttons it up, “thank you.”

 

Patricia smiles warmly, “you’re welcome dear, would you like to hold him?”

 

Yugen gazes at the baby, knowing now without a doubt that it is was mind she entered. _What the hell is going on with me?_ She turns back to Patricia and nods, “yeah.”

 

Patricia picks up Kevin, carefully handing him to Yugen, then guides her towards the light. Baby Kevin endearingly clutches Yugen’s index finger, she smiles down at him affectionately, just before the light flashed quickly, blinding her and banishing her from Kevin’s mind.

 

Suddenly, she was awake… THEY were awake.

 

[RECOMMENDED SONG: Lacuna Coil-Spellbound](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=334rfdY6M5Q)

[PICTURES](https://www.pinterest.com/enolarevfore/benzaiten-fire/chapter12/)

 

 

 

 


End file.
